The Toddler Ten

by Holly Hartman

Young children are born with a natural sense of curiosity and wonder. They don’t need flashy or expensive toys to have fun. What they DO need is to have positive relationships with the adults in their lives on a daily basis. Toddlers learn about the world through play and exploration. Their understanding of math, literacy, language, social skills, and science develops first through play. The great thing is, you already have plenty of “toys” around your house that can stimulate play and learning for your child. Here are a few to try:

1. Boxes, large and small. Big boxes can become caves, castles, or rocket ships. Smaller boxes can be used for filling, dumping, and stacking. Your child will develop large and small motor skills and imagination.

2. Measuring cups. Encourage your child to scoop and pour water, rice, noodles, etc. They will develop math, science and fine motor skills.

3. Disposable plates and cups. Decorate paper plates and make hats, masks, or cut in spiral to make a snake. Use the cups to play a stacking game or to sort toys, silverware, etc. They will develop creativity and fine motor skills.

4. Masking tape. Tape lines on the floor to walk along, or use with toy cars as a highway. They are developing balance, spatial awareness and motor skills. (Blue “painter’s tape” removes easily from floors and walls.)

5. Laundry baskets. Use as a target for throwing soft balls or rolled up socks. Pretend the basket is a boat or car so your child can climb in and go on a “sightseeing trip.” Ask them to describe what they see and hear along the way. They will develop eye-hand coordination, large motor skills and vocabulary.

6. Towels, blankets, sheets, pillows. Make a tent using living room furniture and crawl inside to have a snack or read a book together. Bring a flashlight for extra fun! Your child will develop planning skills and creativity.

7. Flashlights. Speaking of flashlights, they are an amazing and versatile toy! Use them for shadow play at bedtime, or outside to play flashlight tag. Bring them along on a walk and ask your child to point the beam at objects you see. Toddlers will develop observation skills, imagination and science understandings.

8. Pots and pans. While you are cooking in the kitchen, give your child a pot or pan to play with. They may use it to make noise, pretend to cook, fill and dump, or play hide and seek by covering small objects inside with the lid. They will develop eye-hand coordination, understanding of cause and effect, and creativity.

9. Sticky notes. Draw pairs of letters, numbers, or faces on sticky notes and to make a matching game on the refrigerator door. Draw the letters of your child’s name on separate sticky notes to put in order. Make name labels for each family member. Your child can place them at the table, in the car, or on the person’s back. They are developing literacy and math skills.

10. YOU! All of these homemade toys stimulate play and learning on their own, but only YOU can add the “secret ingredient” of your attention and participation. Playing with your child with the goal to have fun and enjoy each other’s company is a powerful way to support their development, even if it’s when you’re also cooking, cleaning, or taking care of their other needs at the same time.

HealthySteps Welcomes New Specialist to Stillwater Pediatrics

Katey Anderson, HealthySteps Specialist

We’re excited to welcome Katey Anderson to the HealthySteps team at Stillwater Pediatrics! 

An Oklahoma native, Katey was born and raised in Bartlesville and is a recent graduate of Oklahoma State University, where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Science with a focus on Child and Family Services. Prior to attending OSU, Katey earned her Child Development Associate (CDA) credential from Tri County Technology Center in Bartlesville in 2021—a foundation that sparked her passion for early childhood development and gave her valuable hands-on experience working with young children. 

Although she officially joined the team this summer, Katey is no stranger to HealthySteps—she interned for a year alongside longtime specialist Traci Hamilton, who has served Stillwater Pediatrics for almost an entire decade. Thanks to this experience, Katey steps confidently into her new role, ready to support families and collaborate with pediatricians in our community. 

Katey shared that when she arrived at OSU, she knew she wanted to work with children and empower families, but wasn’t sure what path that would take. Choosing Human Development and Family Science helped her find her calling, and her passion for early childhood development has only grown since. During her internship, she accompanied her mentor in working with families—and now, she’s beginning to build her own client base. 

What makes Katey’s approach so special is her commitment to collaboration. The pediatrician plays a key role by providing trusted medical guidance and partnering with the specialist to support the child’s overall development and well-being. She emphasizes that in the HealthySteps model, the parent and the specialist are a team: “The parent is the expert on their child, and the specialist is the expert in child development. There’s no judgment—just teamwork to support the whole family.” 

Beyond her work at Stillwater Pediatrics, Katey also participates in monthly community outreach through Our Daily Bread, where she offers developmental guidance to families with young children. Whether she's answering questions, providing educational handouts, or connecting families with local pediatricians, Katey is a valuable and compassionate resource for the Stillwater community. 

HealthySteps is a national initiative founded in Washington, D.C. in 1995, now serving families in 334 communities across 25 states and 11 military bases. In Stillwater, the program partners with pediatricians to support children from birth to age five giving them the best possible start in life. Since January, our local HealthySteps team has connected with families about 3,000 times, and the need for this kind of support continues to grow. 

For Katey, this work is close to the heart. Her personal early experiences have inspired a deep sense of purpose in helping families feel seen, supported, and empowered. We’re so fortunate to have this program right here in Stillwater—and even more fortunate to welcome Katey to the team. 

Welcome, Katey!

Helping a Firstborn Become Friends with the New Baby

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

The birth of a new brother or sister may be difficult for a child who has enjoyed being the only child.  There are often feelings of jealousy expressed by the older child, either at the birth or sometime within the first year. He or she may feel pushed aside, unwanted, unloved, and very jealous of the time and attention the new baby gets. Before the baby arrived, this attention was all theirs.

To help prepare for the new baby:

• Give your child real expectations of a newborn, who will eat, sleep, cry, and need lots of diaper changes for the first few months.  The baby will not be a playmate or friend for quite some time.

• Involve your child in preparing for the new baby. Give them say in some choices: “Shall we buy the sheets with the ducks or the teddy bears?”

Normal reactions to a new baby

• Big brother or sister may want lots of attention after the baby comes home. They may be able to tell you they need a hug or to sit in your lap, or they may go away in disappointment, frustration, or anger because you are too busy with the baby.

• Many children will regress to earlier behaviors such a wanting a bottle, bed-wetting, or thumb-sucking. Some of these behaviors are reminders of a comfortable time when they were the center of attention.

• Your child may be hoping to be reassured that they are still loved and cared about enough to deserve your time.  They may think that time equals love. New babies naturally require more time and attention, but this may be difficult for your older child to understand.

To help your older child still feel wanted and loved...

• Empathize with your child about all the frustrations. “It hurts my ears too, to hear so much crying” or “I really wish I could hold you right now and read your favorite book.”

• When friends and family visit the new baby, ask them to visit with your older child first. Suggest that a small gift for the older child would be appreciated when they bring gifts for the baby. Or, keep a new toy or book handy that can be brought out for your older child on these occasions. This is probably not the time to teach your child that you don’t get a gift every time someone else does.

• Provide your child with a “baby” of their own to feed, bathe, and dress when you’re caring for the new baby.

• If your child regresses to baby-like behaviors, they need your positive attention and support. Resist giving attention to the baby-like behaviors and focus instead on their age-appropriate activities. Gently remind them of things they can do that the baby can’t.

• Find some time to devote to your older child when baby is sleeping or someone else can care for the baby. Even a small amount of time will be important to your child.

• Give your child small opportunities to help with the baby, such as offering a pacifier, putting on booties, or winding up a lullaby toy.

• With supervision, let your older child cuddle with and hold the new baby.

• Find books at the library to read with your older child about having a new sibling in the family.

Remember to take care of yourself as well as your children! If their needs start to overwhelm you, ask for help from family, friends, or health care professionals.

KALEIDOSCOPE 2025

The Kaleidoscope event is one of many ways that the Early Childhood Coalition is partnering to bring awareness of children and their needs to our community.

Kaleidoscope is a festival and block party held in Stillwater, Oklahoma during the month of April to raise awareness for Child Abuse Prevention Month.  This marked the third successful year for the event.

Stonecloud Brewing once again hosted the event in the street area by the brewery. The event kicked off with a pinwheel ceremony to recognize abused children in our community. Other events for the day included learning from many agencies in town such as the Saville Center, Wings of Hope, Lions Meadow of Hope, Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), Payne County Youth Shelter and Early Childhood Coalition.

The day was also filled with live music, food trucks and lots of activities at individual booths as well as tie-dyeing t-shirts and a bounce house. Children were welcomed at the ECC booth by members of Early Childhood Coalition and were encouraged to create a special bracelet using a variety of different colors and types of pasta shells, beads and string. Volunteers assisted as needed.

More than 500 swag bags with all types of information to support families were shared and over 200 t-shirts were also given to community members.

HELP!! HE’S INTO EVERYTHING: TODDLERS’ CURIOSITY AT ITS PEAK

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

Toddlers, children from 12 months to 36 months, are highly active and curious about their world. It seems they want to see and do everything! All this “getting into things” can really frustrate parents. Toddlers can be difficult to keep up with and hard to keep safe.

Many parents of children this age often wonder if their child is hyperactive. However, most toddlers are typically on the go and into everything. This curiosity is essential for the development of a child’s brain.

What to Expect from Toddlers

• Toddlers cannot be expected to understand what danger means.

• Toddlers are so busy they cannot remember all the safety rules. Constant supervision and reminders are necessary.

• To a toddler, exploring his world is a stronger need than following his parents’ directions.

• Toddlers are often seen as challenging their parents’ authority when they disobey their parent’s rules. However, their disobedience is driven by two things: (1) an intense need to explore their environment and (2) a push to be their own person.

• Toddlers cannot be expected to control their own actions. When they see something they want to look at or touch, they will “go for it”.

• Some toddlers explore with their mouths.

Tips for Parents

·      To keep your toddler safe, SUPERVISE CONSTANTLY!

• At this age most rules need to be limited to those that deal with safety.

• Childproof your entire house. Do not rely on your toddler to keep himself out of danger..

• Place your valuable or breakable items out of reach. There is no benefit to having temptations so close to your very curious toddler. This lesson can best be taught when he is older..

• When you want your toddler to stop doing something, go to him and help him find something else to do. It’s most effective if you can think of something that will meet the need your toddler is trying to fulfill. For example, when your toddler tries to climb on the bookshelf, take him to a safe place to climb..

• When you want your toddler to stop a certain activity, first say what you want him to do. For example, “Feet stay on the floor. Let me help you get down.” This is more helpful than, “No! Get Down”.

• Very often toddlers will not respond to verbal direction alone. Parents must help their toddler follow through with direction by gently helping the child move to another area.

  Remember.....The toddler stage of intense curiosity and limited impulse control lasts from about the first birthday to about the third birthday. As children move out of the toddler stage and into the preschool stage, they slow down considerably and begin to think more before they act.

  Enjoy time with your toddler and see the amazing world through his or her eyes!

  For more information contact your county health department.

"I CAN DO IT MYSELF!"

THE TODDLER’S PUSH FOR INDEPENDENCE

Children ages one to three, are full of energy and curiosity. They are trying to master many skills, like walking, talking, and climbing. However, the biggest challenge for toddlers is becoming their own person. One of the major challenges for parents is allowing toddlers to develop their independence. With independence comes separateness from parents, along with the child’s message “I can do it myself, my way!” For most parents those words, and the attitude that goes with them, can be difficult to tolerate.

Parents can take comfort in knowing…

♦    All typically developing toddlers push for their independence.

♦    Each child has a unique timetable for this burst of “negativism”, but many parents will notice an increase in this difficult behavior around 18 months and again around 30 months.

♦    A common toddler response to frustration is a temper tantrum.

♦    Toddlers are having their own struggle, as they try to balance their need for independence with their need for dependence.

♦    Toddlers often respond with a loud “NO!” almost automatically, even when they really mean, “yes”.

♦    Toddlers often forget the rules parents set, so they make the same mistakes over and over again.

♦    The purpose of toddler’s negativism is not to be disrespectful. They are attempting to assert themselves as an individuals, separate from their parents.

♦    “Difficult” behavior during the toddler years will not last a lifetime. When parents allow their toddler to assert his independence in acceptable ways, the toddler can pass through this stage and move to the more cooperative, reasonable preschool stage.

♦    Older toddlers can be taught, with patience and understanding, the basics of appropriate social behavior.

Tips for parents…

♦    Keep your sense of humor when dealing with your toddler. It can be a joy to watch your toddler try new skills and practice his newfound independence.

♦    Don’t ask questions that will require a “yes” or “no” answer. The toddlers will undoubtedly say “NO!” For example, instead of “Would you like oatmeal for breakfast?” say, “Would you like hot or cold cereal?”

♦    Stay focused on the positive behaviors your toddler exhibits, as she explores her world and learns new skills.

♦    Avoid power struggles as much as possible. When a situation involves your child’s or someone else’s health or safety, then step in and assert yourself. If the situation involves the toddler’s need to be his own boss, without harm to anyone or anything, then consider allowing the child his independence. For example, parents must buckle their child in her car seat. But, a parent can allow the child to choose his own clothes, from several options.

♦    Flexibility is helpful when parenting toddlers! Parents need to be able to switch gears when a situation isn’t going well and the toddler is getting upset. This may seem to some that the child is “in control”; however, what is really happening is the parent is assessing the situation and making a choice to change for everyone’s benefit. For example, you ask your child to put the toys away and he says “No” and begins to whine. Instead of “sticking to your guns” and making him do it by himself you could say “Let me help so you can go outside and play”.

♦    Offer lots of choices. When toddlers have been given lots of choices, they’re more likely to accept those times when there is no choice. For example, “We must leave. Would you like to get in your car seat by yourself or do you want my help?

♦    Use humor and silliness to get her to do what you need her to do. Try to avoid demands on her behavior. For example, say, “I really need some help getting these wiggly, giggly toys in the silly, willy basket,” rather than “Put the toys away!”

♦  Focus on teaching the behavior you want, rather than on calling attention to the behavior you don’t want. For example, say, “I like it when you walk in the grocery store,” rather than “Stop running!”

♦    When you must set limits, be firm, yet kind about your expectations. Toddlers need parents to set limits for their safety and security.

Remember toddlerhood will last about two years. After this stage you can expect more cooperation from your child. Children need this stage of independence so that they can develop into people who know what they want and can think for themselves.

For more information, contact your county health department child guidance center.

Originally published by Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Dept. of Health

Calming a Crying Baby

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

Calming a crying baby can be difficult. Comforting your baby is sometimes a "trial and error" process. Experiment with the following ideas. See what works best for you and your baby!

Ask Yourself

Is my baby sick or feverish? Is my baby hungry?

Does my baby need to be burped? Does my baby need a dry diaper? Is my baby bored or lonely?

Is my baby overstimulated?

Is my baby over or under dressed?

Is my baby in strong sunlight or a cold draft? Are my baby's hands and feet cold?

Is my baby uneasy about his arms and legs being too free to move around? Does he need to be "swaddled" by wrapping him snugly in a blanket with his hands up to his face? 

Some ideas you might try...

•     Hold your baby close to your heart. The sound of your heartbeat is familiar and calming.

•     Move your baby to a new position.

•     Dim the lights, turn the TV down or off.

•     Rock your baby gently, or try a wind-up swing. (Make sure baby's head is supported.)

•     Let your baby suck his or her fingers or a pacifier. (Do not put a pacifier on a string and place it around baby's neck. Try pulling a diaper halfway through the pacifier ring and rest it beside your baby's mouth. The weight of the diaper holds the pacifier in place.)

•     Take a warm bath together.

•     Distract your baby with an interesting sight such as fish swimming in a tank, a flashlight shining on a wall or a mobile.

•     Wrap your baby snugly in a blanket.

•     Take your baby for a walk outside or go for a drive in the car.

•     Sing softly to your baby.

•     Turn on a fan. Soft background noise sometimes helps.

•     Lay your baby tummy down across your lap and rub his or her back, or sway your knees from side to side.

•     Turn on some quiet music and slow dance together.

•     Some babies enjoy having all their clothes off.

•     If your baby cries at bath time and is startled by water, wrap him in a diaper or soft blanket before getting him wet. Remove the cover when baby feels more comfortable.

•     Don't use food as a first solution to a crying crisis, especially if your baby has eaten recently. More food may add to the problem.

•     If crying seems worse at 3 weeks, 6 weeks or 3 months, your baby may be hungry during these growth periods.

When these ideas don't work...

•     Try to stay calm. This isn't easy! NEVER SHAKE YOUR BABY! This can damage your baby's brain.

•     If you are upset, it's O.K. to put your baby in a crib and take a break for up to 15 minutes.

•     If you are still feeling upset after this break, you may need to find another adult to care for your baby while you take a longer break.

•     If your frustration is high and you are still upset, or feel you may lose control, leave the room and call or contact another adult to watch your child while you calm down. All parents need help and support sometimes. Caring for children can be very stressful.

•     If you are upset or angry and think you might hurt your baby--get help!! Call a neighbor, a friend, a church, a health department, a parent assistance center, a counselor, or the Oklahoma Child Abuse Hot Line (1-800-422-4453).

Getting help is a sign of strength. It is the best thing you can do for you and your baby.

Originally published by Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Dept. of Health

Kids on Screens

by Holly Hartman

How much screen time is okay for your child? What is most important is making sure the screen content is right for your child's age and development. Here are things to consider:

Birth to Two Years:

-There's no substitute for you! Use screens together.

-Video chat with loved ones is a good use of screens for kids.

-Remember that young children need real-life experience before they can understand what they see on the screen.

-Choose apps that limit the noise and distraction while providing a slower pace that won't overly excite your child.

-Balance screen time with active play and interaction.

-Be a good role model! Put down your phone while you spend time with your child.

Three to Eight Years:

-Check the content of the sites your child asks to see or play on to make sure it is accurate and appropriate.

-Turn screens off for the hour before bedtime to help your child get good sleep.

-Make time to use screens for fun with your child, especially to read together.

-Offer tradeoffs: use screen time as an earned reward for other activities like finishing chores, going outside, or playing with siblings and friends.

-Be a good role model! Put down your phone while you spend time with your child.

Children learn best from active, hands-on experiences with trusted elders. Screen time can take away from the valuable play and social time they need. Make sure the balance of screen time and "real time" is right for your family!

Board Members Building a Better ECC

Lisa Cundiff, ECC board member, Laura Shellhammer, Executive Director, Mary Melton, ECC board member, Sherre Davidson ECC board member and Amy Hardin, ECC member (not pictured) attended a training at Pioneer Technology in Ponca City on February 9, 2024. Training was presented by the Oklahoma Center for Nonprofits. Training included Best Practices for Board Performance and Fundraising Basics for Non-Profits.

The Early Childhood Coalition is a 501c3 non-profit organization that works to raise the quality of life for families with young children in Payne County. The Coalition is made up of board members who actively engage with other organizations through its Programming and Finance workgroups. Interested in joining? Contact us for information and plan to attend the next meeting!

It's Germ Season

by Susan Bullard, M.D.

Flu, colds, ear infections, RSV and pneumonia... it’s the season for sick days! What can you do to keep your family healthy? The simple things are usually the most effective.

Keep Your Distance

These infections spread by germs in the fluids from your nose and lungs. When someone is coughing or sneezing, they’re spreading germs, so keep your distance – at least 3 to 6 feet.

Wash Your Hands

The germs can also be spread by hand to hand contact, so wash your hands frequently – especially if you’ve shaken hands with someone – and keep your hands away from your nose, mouth and eyes.

This is obviously hard to teach small children, so make sure they wash their hands frequently, especially if they’ve been around anyone who’s sick or getting sick.

Don’t Share

Colds and flu can be spread by an infected person even a day or two before they start feeling sick themselves – and by someone who’s feeling better for up to a week or two. Don’t share utensils, cups, food or drink. Cleaning surfaces that people touch frequently can help prevent the spread of disease.

Stick with Healthy Habits

We all know that one person in a family can stay healthy when everyone else gets sick. So what is it that makes the difference? Keeping your immune system healthy depends on keeping your whole body healthy. Make sure your family members are getting enough sleep. Eat a healthy diet, especially making sure you’re getting those five daily servings of fruits and vegetables, which have lots of natural substances to boost your immune system. Drink plenty of water.

Get Vaccinated

The single most important thing you can do to stay healthy in the winter is to get flu shots for everyone in the family. Flu shots aren’t perfect, so if one person in the family brings the flu home, the others (even if they got their flu shot) are more likely to pick it up with such close contact. But if the whole family gets their flu shots, the chances go way down that anyone will catch the flu.

Make sure the rest of your kids’ immunizations are up to date also. As recently as the 1980s, we knew we would see unfortunate children with bacterial meningitis during the winter months, and some of them would die. Since then the HIB, Prevnar and meningococcal vaccines have almost wiped out these terrible illnesses, but they can still come back in unvaccinated children.

A few special rules apply to infants during the first few months of life, who are susceptible to severe effects from flu or RSV.

• Stay away from large gatherings of people – don’t let people touch your baby’s face – and completely avoid people who are sick, even if it’s a family member.

• Breast feeding as long as possible gives your baby antibodies that help prevent illness. 

• Air quality can also affect your chances of getting sick. Don’t smoke – and don’t let anyone smoke in your house or around your child.

• Use a cool mist humidifier if the air in your house is dry from heating it during the winter.

No one can escape all the illnesses that winter brings, but these tips may help cut down the number and severity of the ones your family has to endure.

Teaching Toddlers to Make Choices

by Holly Hartman

As babies become toddlers they begin to notice they have choices. This can be challenging for caregivers, but we can also think of it as a chance to encourage independence and growth. Giving toddlers a chance to make a choice of their own helps foster thinking skills. It can be fun to watch as children show their personalities through their choices!

Remember to keep choices simple and limit the number of alternatives. Be sure you are going to be ok with their choice, whatever they decide. Also, try to avoid giving too many choices when you or they are tired, stressed, or in a hurry.

Since children learn best through play, we can find ways to give them fun experiences in decision making. Here are some easy examples of choices for toddlers:

• Would you like to eat pears or bananas?

• Do you want to wear the bear or the bunny pj’s?

• Which way shall we go on our walk today?

• Should we read one, two or three books before bedtime?

• Would you rather put away the blocks or the puzzles?

• Do you want to do it yourself or would you like help?

 Toddlers are new at making choices, and just like us, they won’t always make the choice that is in their best interest, or be happy with the choice they’ve made. We can help by showing patience and understanding while also allowing them to experience the consequences of their choices, as long as those consequences aren’t harmful or dangerous.

Think about all the important decisions children will be faced with throughout their lives, and it’s clear that the ability to make good choices is a crucial life skill that children need to develop. What is a fun choice you can give your child today?

Baby Brains

by Holly Hartman

When a child is born, we might notice their tiny hands and feet or cute little noses.  But the truly remarkable part of a newborn baby is inside their head, where we can’t see all the amazing development that is taking place. The Zero to Three organization provides parenting information and tips, and they recently shared a fascinating look inside a baby’s brain, here.  Some of their findings include:

• ·A baby’s brain is a quarter of the size of an adult brain, but it doubles in size in the first year of life.  With all that growth, 60% of baby’s energy goes to developing the brain.

• A two-year-old has 50% more synapses than an adult brain, even though it is much smaller.

• A three-year-old’s brain is twice as active as an adult brain. (We know this is especially true when you are trying to get them to go to sleep.)

• Brain development continues until around the age of 25.

By watching patterns in a child’s brain activity, scientists can tell if a child has been through trauma or negative experiences.  When a young chld’s brain has been traumatized or exposed to neglect, it is important to restore safe, trusted relationships with adults to help it  heal.

Zero to Three has the following advice for caregivers of babies and their amazing brains:

• ·Talking to babies frequently can result in quicker learning and speech development — babies who are frequently talked to know around 300 more words by age 2 than others. 

• Babies decipher what they should pay attention to (or not) by following their caregiver’s gaze.  

• Physical touch and affection are essential to helping a baby’s brain development, as it releases growth hormones.  

• The most important way to build brain growth is through “serve and return” interaction with babies and toddlers, which means getting to know them and interacting with them through back-and-forth conversation, expressions, and play. 

• Babies don’t just love peek-a-boo — they are mastering a new skill through brain development. 

• Toddler brains thrive on questions and problem-solving. Ask questions of 24-36-month olds such as “Why do dogs bark?” 

To learn more about how to support healthy brain development during the most important first three years of life, explore the Zero to Three website or talk to your pediatrician or Healthy Steps specialist.

9 Ways to Be a Great Parent

Babies Have Feelings Too!

by Holly Hartman

I have a pamphlet from the 1950s that was handed out at hospitals to new mothers, and it’s clear that back then it was believed that infants didn’t experience real emotions like anger, sadness, or even joy.  Today it seems unbelievable that anyone could hold a baby who is howling with rage because their pacifier has fallen from their mouth and conclude that the child doesn’t have real feelings!  Research over the last thirty years has caught up with what most of us know on an intuitive level; babies do indeed experience a wide range of emotions!

As caregivers, we often feel it’s our job to protect our children from distress and negative feelings.  Not only is this not possible, it’s not even in the child’s best interests.  Experiencing negative feelings is a part of being human, and learning how to cope with those feelings while we’re young is a key to becoming a healthy adult.  The article “First Feelings: The Foundation of Healthy Development, Starting from Birth” at zerotothree.org provided these suggestions for helping our children learn to self-regulate.

Label Feelings

Young children don’t have words yet to express how they are feeling, so when we give a name to their emotion, we let them know that feelings are normal and acceptable.

Listen

When children share difficult feelings, it is important to acknowledge the feeling as real and important.  Then you can move on to helping your child managing the feeling appropriately.

Let Them Know All Feelings are OK

We don’t make unpleasant feelings go away by ignoring or denying them, so practice allowing the child to express their emotions while you listen or just stay present with your child.

Teach Coping Tools

We can show our children how to stomp their feet or run a lap. We can support them to take tiny steps toward the unfamiliar when they are afraid, like visiting a new school before the first day.  Think of this as helping children build an emotional tool-box that will grow with them  throughout their lives.

Manage Your Stress

A child’s meltdown frequently leads to our own negative emotional reactions. When we caregivers pay attention to our feelings and cope with them successfully, we model healthy behavior and resiliency for our children, and find ourselves better equipped to weather the storms of family life successfully.

Learn more about The Basics at https://thebasics.org/

Holly Hartman is an early childhood educator, author, and member of Stillwater’s Early Childhood Coalition, Inc.

Family Friday: Quality Time with Your Child

Week of the Young Child

Families seem to be busier than ever, and while parents would like to spend more quality time with their children, it is easier said than done! The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) provides lots of articles and information about ways to squeeze quality time into your day, found here on their website.  Here are some of their tips:

Have a daily “connect” time with your child

Create a habit of focusing your whole attention on your child a few minutes at the same time every day with no distractions. Pick a time you can stick to, like the drive to or from school, rather than more hectic times.  Reading together can be a great habit to start with!

Make and eat meals with your child

Stick with simple meals that require basic preparation or grab a healthy snack and just sit a few minutes to chat with your child.

Reinforce positive behavior

Try to shift the times when you talk to your child from directing or correcting their behavior, and instead focus on noticing and acknowledging when they show positive behaviors like initiative, perseverance, patience, and creativity.

Play with your child everyday

Play can happen in small moments any time of day, it doesn’t have to be complicated or time consuming.  Toss a ball back and forth for a few minutes before you drop off at school or sit by the tub at bath time; every little bit of play makes a positive impact!

Turn off technology

Try not to text, answer calls, scroll through social media, or watch television when you spend time with your child.  Remember, you are teaching them how to give their full attention to you, by giving your full attention to them!

Meaningful connections are about quality of time, not quantity of time. Keep it simple and connect with your child in ways that make sense for your lifestyle and relationship. Each connection has a lasting impact and provides the support and reassurance that your child needs.

Learn more about Week of the Young Child and the National Association for the Education of Young Children at their website, www.NAEYC.org

Artsy Thursday: Keep It Simple

Week of the Young Child

Toddlers are natural artists, at least when they are sitting in their high chair with a bowl of pudding on their tray! When children have opportunities to express their creativity through simple art projects, they develop eye-hand coordination, sensory awareness, experience in making choices and experimenting with ideas... the list goes on and on.  But the biggest benefit may be that creating is just so much fun!

Parents may feel that art projects take too much time and effort, but NAEYC has offers some help for keeping it manageable, here on their website.

Eliminate the pressures that make art projects difficult

You don’t need a lot of special supplies or prep time.  Stock up on a few staples, like markers, tape and glue and then use what you have on hand – paper plates, cotton balls, etc.

Allow children to do the work

Let kids take the lead on choosing how they want to create, and scale the project down to the level of skill they possess.  Then step back and let them do the work! Stand by to support and cheer, but not judge or take over.

Praise their efforts, not the product itself

Lead with questions, like “how do you feel about your creation?” and then really listen to their response before responding with support.  Make observations about the time they spent, the number of tries they made, or their patience and creative solutions.

Remember – you’re creating happy memories!

Stay focused on supporting your child’s creativity and spending time together.  The picture they paint, song they make up, or tower they build will be forgotten in time, but the bonds you build will last a lifetime!

Learn more about Week of the Young Child and the National Association for the Education of Young Children at their website, www.NAEYC.org

Work Together Wednesday: Sharing Chores with Your Child

Week of the Young Child

You may have heard the saying, Play is the work of children, which is a reminder that when children are making messes, acting silly and having fun, they are also engaged in serious learning.  We can also turn the statement around and say “Work is the play of children.”  That’s a reminder that children want to be included in the daily routines that we may consider work, like washing dishes and sorting laundry.  And when we invite children to work alongside us, while keeping it playful and fun, we support them to develop in a multitude of ways. NAEYC offers some tips on cooking with toddlers here on their website.  These pointers can apply to lots of other household chores as well:

Keep it simple

Think about your child’s current abilities and give them one task at a time, that they can mostly do by themselves.  Increase the complexity and number of tasks as their skills grow.

Let your toddler lead

Notice what really interests them and choose a task accordingly. Maybe they love socks, so you ask them to sort all the socks into piles for each family member.

Prep and plan when possible

Set your child up for success by making chores easy to accomplish.  That might mean storing things on a child’s level or putting trash in smaller containers.

Invite your child to help clean up.

Approach clean up at the end of play as a fun game that everyone shares in, and gradually they will develop the habit of picking up after themselves in other situations.

Inviting and encouraging your child to share in the everyday work of living in a household together teaches them patience, perseverance and organizational skills. But even more, it teaches them that they are a valued, contributing member of the family and gives them to confidence to tackle the larger life tasks ahead.

Learn more about Week of the Young Child and the National Association for the Education of Young Children at their website, www.NAEYC.org

Tasty Tuesday: Cooking with Children

Week of the Young Child

by Peggy Emde

For many of us, cooking with young children sounds like a challenging experience. What comes to mind when you think of kids in the kitchen? A big mess? An accident waiting to happen? More trouble than it’s worth?

On the other hand, cooking with children offers many natural learning opportunities in math, science, language/literacy, and health. It is also a great time to build relationships.

These days, there may be less time for children to experience cooking in the home.  Many meals are rushed, maybe with drive-thru food.  With that in mind, making time for simple cooking experiences is even more important. Ready to give it a try?

Start small!

Toddlers need lots of opportunities to pour, stir, and mix in the sandbox or bathtub, and then they can graduate to pouring their own milk at meal time.

Stay simple!

Choose a simple recipe with just a few ingredients that matches your child’s skill level. Also, look for one that doesn’t involve a long wait time!

Stock up! Be sure that you have all the ingredients and utensils ready before hand.

Safety First!

Cooking often involves heat and sharp objects, so close supervision is a must. (Leave your phone in the other room!) Use plastic rather than glass containers, and child sized utensils (plastic serrated knives for instance.) Avoid recipes that involve frying or very high heat.

A Recipe for Success:

1. Explain in very clear terms the process/steps of the recipe. Remember, cooking experiences don’t always mean heating something or even eating something. Making no-cook playdough is an easy first recipe to try.

2. Always wash and dry hands before and after cooking. Have children help with washing all fresh food items.

3. Show how to hold foods when grating or peeling, and how to hold food down on a cutting board when cutting by making a claw with the hand.

4. Gently remind about safety rules as you cook: “Only adults may handle the heated appliance.”

5. Let children do as much for themselves as possible. If you are doing most of the work, the children aren’t getting the most from the experience!

Let’s look at the learning possibilities for you and your children:

Science: Observing; Classifying; Changes in matter; Cause and effect; Sensory experiences. Ask:

·      What happened when we stirred it?

·      Which ingredients are the same?  Different?

·      What do you think will happen when water is added?

·      What happened when we baked it, how is it different?

Math: The concept of numbers……recipes are all about numbers! Measuring; Estimating; Fractions; Comparing; One to one correspondence. Ask:

• Which container has the most?

• Can you count 3 teaspoons?

• Do you think that is enough flour?

• If you slice it once how many pieces does that make? How many will you have if you slice it two times?

• How can we get all of the cookies on the cookie sheet?

Language and Literacy: New vocabulary words - knead, pour, stir, grate; Descriptive words like sweet, salty, tart; Reading recipes and looking at the pictures together; Writing a grocery list; Setting the timer. Ask:

• Do our carrots look like the ones in the book?

• What does this taste like?

• What did the caterpillar in the story eat that you like?

• Can you choose a recipe to use from the book?

• What do you think this utensil is called?

Health and Personal Care Skills: Good hygiene; Healthy eating habits; Food groups; Portion control. Talk about:

• Why we wash our hands before preparing and eating, and why foods must be washed before preparing.

• How everyone has different tastes, and how we can learn to like new tastes.

• How foods affect our bodies, both good and bad.

• How foods are alike and different, and which food group they belong to.

When we think about all of this learning potential, it becomes very clear how important cooking with children can be.  If we are prepared and willing to offer these experiences to the children in our care, the rewards can be enormous!

Learn more about Week of the Young Child and the National Association for the Education of Young Children at their website, www.NAEYC.org

Week of the Young Child: Music Monday

Playing with Music at Home

Many parents first begin sharing music with their children soon after birth, when they coo, hum, or sing soothing lullabies to calm their crying baby. Teachers know that music can be a great help when children are making transitions of all kinds, and that songs and rhymes help them remember simple facts and routines.  Who remembers the “pick-up” song from their pre-school years?

Children love to sing, dance, and make their own music.  The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) provides lots of articles and information about playing with music at home, found here on their website.  Here are some of their tips:

Play music made for children

You can find great music created for a young audience all over the Internet, or more locally you can check out children’s music CDs at the Public Library.  The site www.zooglobble.com is a great resource for finding the very best in kids’ music today.

Develop reading readiness through rhymes

Listening to and repeating rhymes helps children learn to match the sounds of language in a playful way.

Sample music from around the world

It’s never been easier to introduce your child to all kinds of music – try playing some classical, jazz, salsa, celtic, and hip hop beats to find what your child likes best!

 Learn more about Week of the Young Child and the National Association for the Education of Young Children at their website, www.NAEYC.org