When Your Child Starts School

Holly Hartman

Whether it’s in a new childcare setting, pre-k, or kindergarten, starting to school can be hard for young children. There are simple things you can do to make it easier for both your child and yourself.

Tell your child how, when, and where she’ll go to school with simple, honest words. Give enough information to ease her fears, but not so much that she becomes more anxious.

Do a practice run before the first day. Take your child to meet the teacher and see her classroom, if possible. Drive the route to school and back. Talk about both drop-off and pick-up routines so she’ll know what to expect.

Give your child a chance to express her feelings by listening and acknowledging them. Then pick a quiet time later, when she is not stressed, to explore how she can cope with her feelings.

Talk about your own feelings. New school beginnings can be hard for caregivers too. It can help to talk about what you may be feeling ahead of time, so you’ll both be prepared.

Express confidence in your child’s ability to handle new situations. Talk about challenges they have already mastered, and give them affirmations like, “Mommy/Daddy comes back.”

Before starting to school, make sure your child has regular playtime with children outside their family. Find a playground, library storytime, church nursery, or playgroup you can attend together.

Make sure your child gets plenty of sleep, good food, exercise and play. Turn off screens and join your child in active, imaginative play. Use toys to act out the school day.

Read books with your child that mirror her feelings and then talk about what you read. Librarians and teachers will have suggestions for books that are appropriate for her age.

Be patient and positive. Remember that there will be lots of new “first days” ahead for your child. In the early years, we set the stage for our children’s independence and resilience in years to come.

Hot Sun, Cool Kids

Holly Hartman

Keeping Kids Safe in the Sun

Oklahoma has plenty of sunny days to enjoy in every season, and outside play is important for our children’s healthy development. To make their time outdoors safe, sun protection for young children is a must. Infants and toddlers are especially sensitive to sun-related skin damage, heat rash, and even heat exhaustion. Here are some ways to keep your child from overheating.

No Sun for Infants: Babies younger than six months should stay out of the sun. Their bodies have not developed enough to handle the temperature, and they also are not ready to be drinking water. Use a shaded stroller for short outside walks, only when the temperature is below 90°.

Water: Make sure children older than 6 months stay hydrated before, during, and after they play outside. If your little one objects to drinking water, make popsicles out of plain water to offer instead

Cool Clothing: Covering up as much skin as possible is the best defense against sunburn. Dress your kids in light weight, loose-fitting clothes with plenty of room for airflow. Don’t forget to add a wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses!

Choose the Right Sunscreen: Have your children wear sunscreen. Make sure the sunscreen says “broad spectrum” to protect against UVA and UVB rays. The higher the SPF – 30 or higher - the better the protection. Apply a thick layer of sunscreen 20-30 minutes before going outside for the best protection, and reapply every two hours, especially if your kids are playing in water.

Go early or late: Try to plan outdoor time early and late in the day. Stay indoors when the sun is the strongest, usually between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.

Take Breaks: Monitor your child’s activity level and make sure they take regular breaks in the shade or in an air-conditioned area.

Hot Cars can be Deathtraps: The interior temperature of a parked car can rise by almost 20°F in just 10 minutes, even with a cracked window, quickly leading to heatstroke. Never leave a child of any age in a parked car. Never!

Know the signs: Learn the signs of dehydration and heat exhaustion, and what to do if your child shows any signs of overheating. Check the CDC website or ask your doctor for more information.

Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds

To grow healthy and strong, children need good food, plenty of sleep, exercise, and fresh air.  Children have emotional needs too. To be both healthy and happy, all children require these things:

Love. Every child needs to feel;

• That a trusted adult loves, wants, and enjoys her.

• That he matters very much to someone.

• That there are people nearby who care what happens to her.

Acceptance. Every child needs to believe:

• That his caregivers like him for himself, just the way he is.

• That they like her all the time, and not only when she acts according to their idea of the way a child should act.

• That they will let him grow and develop in his own way.

Security. Every child needs to know:

• That her home is a good, safe place she can feel sure about.

• That his caregivers will be there for him, especially in times of crisis when he needs them most.

• That she belongs to a family or group, that there is a place where she fits in.

Protection. Every child needs to feel:

• That his caregivers will keep him safe from harm.

• That they will help her when she must face strange, unknown, and frightening situations.

Independence. Every child needs to know:

• That his caregivers want him to grow up and that they encourage him to try new things.

• That they have confidence in her and her ability to do things by and for herself.

Faith. Every child needs to have:

• A set of moral standards to live by.

• A belief in human values – kindness, courage, honesty, generosity and justice.

Guidance. Every child needs to receive:

• Friendly help in learning how to behave toward people and things.

• Grownups who show by example how to get along with others.

Control. Every child needs to know:

• That there are limits to what she is permitted to do and that her caregivers will hold her to those limits.

• That though it is all right to feel jealous or angry, he will not be allowed to hurt himself or others when he has these feelings.

Children whose basic needs are met have a better chance to grow up in good mental health and to become mentally healthy adults – good parents, good mates, good workers, good neighbors, good citizens.

Information from the National Association for Mental Health, 1981.

ECC is launching our newest effort to Nurture Beginnings for a Lifetime by inviting families to play together in familiar community spaces and enjoy greater connection, learning, and health. Our long-term goal is to make early learning visible and do-able by turning the entire community of Stillwater into a play-full environment, one park, sidewalk, public artwork, and community event at a time.

For our first project, we are installing QR code signage throughout downtown Stillwater through a community collaboration with the Stillwater History Museum at the Sheerar, Stillwater Public Library, Visit Stillwater, and the City of Stillwater. Scan the code for instant access to short, simple, play-based activities designed specifically for that location. These activities are designed to spark interaction—not just keeping kids busy, but helping caregivers and children connect, explore, and learn together in real time.

Let’s PLAY launches on June 11th at Chris Salmon Plaza in downtown Stillwater, from 10 am to Noon. We will be unveiling Let’s PLAY QR code signs at five different locations around the block. At each location that day, we’ll have in-person, fun activities to play and connect with at a public artwork. In conjunction with Stillwater Public Library’s Summer Reading Program, we’ll have ECC and Library volunteers at each site, along with other special guests. We hope you will join us!

June 11 also happens to be “International Day of Play”. The theme this year is “Protect play, protect childhood”. The theme is a reminder for all of us – governments, businesses, schools and families – that happy and healthy childhoods are built on play. Make a plan to carve out some time that day for your family to play with neighbors and friends.

Learn more on the Let’s PLAY page on our website and fill out the survey to help us find locations and think of new ways to make our community PLAY-FULL!

The BIG Umbrella of ECC

The Early Childhood Coalition encompasses and partners with many organizations. Run by a small volunteer board alongside many committed members and donors, ECC provides the following programs:

·      HealthySteps program at Stillwater Medical Center Pediatrics. This nationally recognized program works with doctors and staff to bring direct help to families learning to adapt to life with young children.  

·      Building a Better Brain Campaign based on the Basic principles. Brain Bag preparation and distribution to all infants born at Stillwater Medical Center introduces families of newborns to the importance of learning and brain development from day one.

·      Kaleidoscope Child Abuse Awareness event held locally at the end of April each year to bring awareness and celebrate the Week of the Young Child.

ECC collaborates and partners with:

·      The Basics Learning Network. Stillwater is the only site in Oklahoma for the Basics learning network. The Basics training and Insights Texting service is provided free to families.

·      Stillwater Public Library to bring the Basics principles of development to some of the programming.

·      StillWonder by providing consultation on projects.

·      Infant Crisis Services OKC (Baby Mobile at Our Daily Bread) to bring much needed baby items to the community.

·      Healthy Communities Healthy Children, to collaborate with many local agencies on issues facing families.

·      OSU Human and Development and Family Sciences department through internships.

Major Funding Partners include:

·      Central Oklahoma Community Action Agency

·      Stillwater Medical Center

·      United Way of Payne County

·      Davidson Family Foundation

·      Our Daily Bread/Potts Family Foundation

·      Elite Repeat

Thanks to everyone in our community willing to donate time, talents and monetary support for all these valuable services which support the children 0 – 5 yr in our area.  We depend on dedicated individuals to ensure that local families receive vital support for healthy development of our next generation.

If you'd like to support our mission: Please visit https://www.eccstillwater.org or email eccstillwater@gmail.com to make a donation. Your contributions—whether financial, through volunteering, or advocacy—help drive positive change. Join us in empowering children and families across Payne County.

Babies Have Feelings, Too!

By Holly Hartman

I have a pamphlet from the 1950s that was handed out at hospitals to new parents, and it’s clear that back then it was believed that infants didn’t experience real emotions like anger, sadness, or even joy.  Today it seems unbelievable that anyone could hold a baby who is howling with rage because their pacifier has fallen from their mouth and conclude that the child doesn’t have real feelings!  Research over the last thirty years has caught up with what most of us know on an intuitive level; babies do indeed experience a wide range of emotions!

As caregivers, we often feel it’s our job to protect our children from distress and negative feelings.  Not only is this not possible, it’s not even in the child’s best interests.  Experiencing negative feelings is a part of being human, and learning how to cope with those feelings while we’re young is a key to becoming a healthy adult.  The article “First Feelings: The Foundation of Healthy Development, Starting from Birth” at zerotothree.org provided these suggestions for helping our children learn to self-regulate.

Label Feelings

Young children don’t have words yet to express how they are feeling, so when we give a name to their emotion, we let them know that feelings are normal and acceptable.

Listen

When children share difficult feelings, it is important to acknowledge the feeling as real and important.  Then you can move on to helping your child managing the feeling appropriately.

Avoid Minimizing

We don’t make unpleasant feelings go away by ignoring or denying them, so practice allowing the child to express their emotions while you listen or just stay present with your child.

Teach Coping Tools

We can show our children how to stomp their feet or run a lap. We can support them to take tiny steps toward the unfamiliar when they are afraid, like visiting a new school before the first day.  Think of this as helping children build an emotional tool-box that will grow with them  throughout their lives.

Manage Stress

A child’s meltdown frequently leads to our own negative emotional reactions. When we caregivers pay attention to our feelings and cope with them successfully, we model healthy behavior and resiliency for our children, and find ourselves better equipped to weather the storms of family life successfully.

Learn more about The Basics at https://thebasics.org/

Donor Spotlight: Ron Walker

This blog post shines a spotlight on a valued ECC supporter, Ron Walker. For those unfamiliar with him, Ron is a well-known builder from Stillwater who recently retired. He previously received the Small Business Award for his company, Ron Walker Construction, and he is an Oklahoma State University graduate and skilled ceramicist. Every year, Ron generously donates his time and artistic talents to support ECC at the Prairie Arts Festival. Most recently, he teamed up with other artists to create over 100 awards for the annual Mid South Gravel Bike race in Stillwater. The design team processes pure Oklahoma clay by hand and dedicates many hours to crafting these unique prizes, ensuring each recipient receives something special and meaningful.

Throughout the year, Ron explores various ceramic techniques, including Raku with horsehair, banana peels, and other creative elements to produce distinctive designs. He sells his art at the Prairie Arts Festival, with all proceeds directly benefitting ECC. Be sure to visit this year and take home one of Ron’s stunning pieces at an affordable price.

April will be a busy month for the Early Childhood Coalition, featuring special events such as:

·      Fundraiser at the Garage – April 8

·      The Week of the Young Child – April 19-26

·      Prairie Arts Festival – April 17-18

·      Kaleidoscope – April 26

For updates on these events, check our Facebook page or Instagram account.

Thanks to donors like Ron Walker, local families receive vital support for healthy development. Our work relies on the dedication of partners like him. If you'd like to support our mission: Please visit https://www.eccstillwater.org or email eccstillwater@gmail.com to make a donation. Your contributions—whether financial, through volunteering, or advocacy—help drive positive change. Join us in empowering children and families across Payne County.

Temper Tantrums

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

Most young children have temper tantrums. They may throw themselves on the floor, kick, cry, shout, hit, bite, and even hold their breath. Tantrums probably mean that the child is overcome with frustration or anger

Tantrums may happen when a child is:

• Tired, hungry, uncomfortable, or not feeling well

• Too warm, scratchy, or wearing tight clothes

• Wanting independence (''I can do it myself.")

• Frustrated (sharing toys, unable to do a task)

• Not given structure (changing rules, no regular routine)

• Expected to do more than he is capable of doing (such as sitting quietly for too long)

• Asked to stop an activity and do another (stop playing and get dressed)

To prevent tantrums:

•  Watch for signals from your child. Parents usually know when a child is tired, hungry, or needing a break from too much activity.

• Make sure that he has a nap when he is tired, and a light snack or a meal when he needs food.

• If she is getting too wound up and needs help to relax, you might sit and read to her or give her a bath. Rowdy activities should be followed by quiet activities.

• Find out if your expectations for your child's behavior are too high or low.

• Plan activities for the family around the child's routines when possible.

• Before asking a child to stop one activity and start another, give a few minutes warning to help the child prepare for the change. This may prevent a tantrum.

When a tantrum occurs:

 Because all children are different and the reasons for tantrums vary, you will need different ways to handle tantrums.

• Try to remain calm. (This may be difficult!)

• Tentatively name what you think the child is feeling. (''It is frustrating when the toy doesn't work.”) This helps the child to understand what he is feeling and may give him words to use to express that feeling.

• Redirect the child's attention to something else. (If he is upset because he can't climb on the cabinets find him a safe place to practice climbing).

• There may be times that, after trying the above, the child is still very upset and needs to release his or her frustrations. At this point you may choose to give the child some space. This allows the child to calm down and you to keep your frustrations in check. (''I can see you are very angry. I'm going to leave you alone until you calm down.")

• Once the child begins to calm down, a parent may offer to comfort the child. Being out of control can be very scary for the child. However, if the child is not ready when you offer comfort wait until he is ready,

• Depending on the personality of the child, he may want to be held, talked to, distracted, or simply left alone until he is ready to interact on his own.

• When a tantrum occurs in a public place, you may need to look for a quiet place, such as your

  car, for you and your child to take a break until he is back in control.

Remember:

Sometimes adults have fits too. We sometimes stomp our feet, slam doors, shout, throw things or drive too fast. One of the ways children learn how to manage strong emotions is by watching us handle ours!

A tantrum is a child's way of communicating his strong emotions which he is still learning to handle. Typically, children's temper tantrums decrease as their use of language and coping abilities increase.

You cannot reason with a child in the middle of a tantrum. So wait!

Just as adults want to share their frustrations with someone, so do young children. That is why they seldom tantrum alone.

For help with your child’s behavior issues, contact your local Health Department or Healthy Steps Specialist.

Donor Highlight: Elite Repeat

At ECC, we express our sincere appreciation to all supporters of Elite Repeat, located in downtown Stillwater. Elite Repeat is recognized for its high-quality used and vintage items, offering an organized selection that includes clothing, furniture, home décor, and more. The store’s inventory is regularly updated, inviting patrons to return frequently in search of new finds.

Elite Repeat dedicates the proceeds from sales to supporting community non-profit organizations. ECC has gratefully received grants from Elite Repeat since the beginning of the HealthySteps program. The contributions from Elite Repeat are specifically allocated to our HealthySteps program.

HealthySteps is a nationally accredited initiative based in pediatric clinics, collaborating with physicians and staff to assist families in addressing parenting challenges such as feeding, behavior, sleep, development, and adjustment to life with young children. Stillwater benefits from having two full-time HealthySteps specialists working alongside local pediatricians, ensuring a collaborative approach that empowers parents as they welcome new family members.

Through the continued generosity of donors like Elite Repeat, families in our community receive comprehensive support for a healthy beginning. This work would not be possible without the steadfast commitment of our partners.

If you wish to contribute to our mission:

Please visit https://www.eccstillwater.org or email eccstillwater@gmail.com to make a donation.

Your engagement—whether through financial support, volunteering, or advocacy—creates meaningful change. Join us in strengthening young children and families throughout Payne County.

Communicating Limits to Young Children

Discipline is teaching. A child is not born knowing what is appropriate and what is not. As adults, we can help children learn what behavior is acceptable. The way you communicate limits to your child is important.

It’s better to be consistent with 5 rules 100% of the time than with 10 rules 50% of the time. Most adults set too many rules. A rule should be:

·      For ensuring health and safety

·      Reasonable for a child’s age

·      For the benefit of the child as well as the adult

·      Explained to the child in an age appropriate way

With that in mind, here is a list of “rules” for winning the discipline game:

Be clear and specific in your instructions. Avoid terms such as “be nice” or “be good.” Say instead, “We will go when you are in the car seat.” “We can read the story after you brush your teeth. I’ll help,” ”People are not for hitting, use your words.” Or “Put your toys on this shelf.”

Eye contact is important. Move close to the child and get on their eye level.

Be trustworthy. Say what you mean. Do what you say you will.

Use a firm, matter-of-fact voice.

Be kind. An angry voice or body language does not teach the child, it scares them.

Do not make the situation about you, for example, saying, “You did this to make me mad.”

Say things in a positive way; “Your feet go on the floor, not on the chair.”

Be brief. We often talk too much. Remind once, then calmly move on.

Allow the child to express their feelings, including negative ones.

Listen when your child talks, with your full attention. A child is more likely to listen and obey when the caregiver listens to and values the child’s feelings and opinions.

Give your child choices when you can. Give only choices you can accept. Even simple choices will help your child feel more in control and therefore, better able to cooperate.

Pay attention to your child’s feelings, moods, and needs. A tired or hungry child is less likely to be agreeable.

Try not to use positive or negative labels such as good, bad, dumb, pretty, etc. Instead, describe behavior specifically.

Nagging, yelling, and hitting show a lack of respect for the child and hurt your relationship with them in the long run. Work to develop a relationship of mutual respect.

Time limits may help to reduce a child’s frustration. Say, for example, “In five minutes it will be time for dinner.” The child may not have any understanding of the concept of five minutes, but you are letting them know what is upcoming.

Be reasonable. Match your expectations to the child’s age and development.

Remember, you communicate nonverbally as well. Facial expressions, actions, tone of voice, and hugs often communicate more than your words to influence a child.

For more information, contact your County Health Department.

Maternal & Child Health, Oklahoma State Department of Health

ECC Receives Donations to Support Brain Bags

We are deeply grateful to Oklahoma Community Credit Union and P.E.O. Chapter U for their generous support of our Brain Bag initiative. Their commitment to early childhood development is making a real difference for families in our area and inspiring others to join our mission.

At the November ECC board meeting, Oklahoma Community Credit Union awarded us an $800 grant through OK Community Cares, directly funding Brain Bags for newborn families at Stillwater Medical Center. Their partnership helps us reach local families at a crucial moment in their child's development.

In December, P.E.O. Chapter U contributed $1,700, allowing us to expand the Brain Bag program even further. Their dedication to supporting women, children, and education strengthens our community and encourages others to get involved.

Thanks to these generous donations, 100 newborn families will receive Brain Bags this year at Stillwater Medical Center—each filled with a storybook, a toy for baby, a family guide to The Basics, a QR code for free enrollment in the Insights texting service, and helpful resources about childcare and development. These Brain Bags provide families with tools for a healthy and supported start, and we couldn't do it without the ongoing support of our community partners.

Want to help us continue this important work?

Visit our website at https://www.eccstillwater.org or contact us at eccstillwater@gmail.com to make your donation today. Every $25 gift provides a newborn family with the resources for a healthy beginning. Your involvement—whether through donating, volunteering, or spreading the word—makes a lasting impact. Join us in supporting young children and families across Payne County!

Happy New Beginnings 2026!

Holly Hartman

Have you ever tried to explain the concept of New Year’s Day to a young child?  For little people who don’t have a firm grasp on the concept of yesterday-today-tomorrow, the idea of a whole new year has got to be fuzzy at best.  As my own child once argued, you could say that every single day is both a New Year’s Eve AND a New Year’s Day. (He was hoping for a later bedtime.) Anyway, Happy New Beginnings in 2026!

Speaking of new beginnings, I have ideas for a few worthwhile resolutions for anyone with a young child in their care, courtesy of The Basics.org:

Maximize Love, Minimize Stress

 Focus on changing your reaction to one small, daily irritation that comes with raising your child, and plan a different response that demonstrates your love and acceptance.

Talk, Sing, and Point

Focusing your attention on communicating with your toddler, especially in a playful way, supports your child in so many ways. Make a playlist of silly kid songs you already know and post it on your refrigerator as a reminder to sing to your child every morning.

Count, Group and Compare

Take advantage of the natural math-building activities in your day, like counting steps, tapping to a beat, and sorting the silverware to keep your child busy and boost their understanding of the world.

Explore through Movement and Play

Moving and playing are the backbones of healthy child development, but they are also necessary for our own mental and physical health. Schedule a time each day for open-ended, child-led, self-motivated exploration. Even a few minutes can make a big difference for the whole family.

Read and Discuss Stories

Sharing books with your child is a proven way to build closeness, calm anxiety, and grow creativity for both of you. Look at the pictures, make up the story, use silly voices... make reading a time for connection and companionship.

 Lastly, think about how much growing, playing, and learning your child will experience in the year ahead, and give yourself a big pat on the back just for keeping up with your little bundle of energy!

Learn more about these five simple parenting strategies on our website, eccstillwater.org.

Santa Fundraiser 2025

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Everywhere you go in Stillwater, the holiday spirit is popping up—even before our Thanksgiving Day celebrations. Maybe you’re starting to think about how to make this season extra special for your child. Let’s make this holiday season magical for every child in our community!

ECC is excited to once again offer you the chance to delight your child with a personalized video message from Santa himself! Your child will receive a unique, 1–2-minute video greeting where Santa speaks directly to them, adding a heartwarming and personal touch to their holiday experience.

Every $25 donation for a Santa video directly funds resources for local families. Your generosity helps ECC continue to provide HealthySteps specialists, distribute developmental resources through Brain Bags and Insight texting, and offer vital services to hundreds of local families. Together, we can make a real difference for children during the critical years of early brain development from birth to age three.

Participating is easy: simply complete the informational questionnaire (use the QR code or button below) and submit your $25 donation by December 10th. Your child’s personalized Santa video will be emailed to you on or before December 20th. Reserve your child’s personalized Santa video today—spots are limited, so don’t wait! Submit your form and donation by December 10th to ensure delivery before Christmas.

Toilet Learning

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

For many parents one of the most frustrating skills they will teach their child is how to use the toilet. Advice from friends and family may include comments like: "Start toilet training right after he's walking," and "Get that boy out of diapers as soon as possible". While advice from experts may be: "Take it slow. Wait till she's ready." All the while, parents are wondering, "How will I know when he's ready?" or "My daughter is really smart, so won't she learn to use the bathroom quickly?"

A variety of ways to support independent toileting

•     Use words to identify bodily functions that you're comfortable with. But avoid words that imply elimination is something bad. Describe what you see your toddler doing. For example, when she grabs the front of her diaper, say, “It looks like you're going pee pee.” Or when he runs behind the couch and makes grunting sounds, say, “It looks like you're making a poop." Don't ask children if they are peeing or pooping. They will most likely say “NO!”

•     Get a potty-chair or an adapter seat for the toilet. Talk about what it is used for. Let your child try sitting on it with clothes on.

•     Read children's books about using the toilet.

•     When changing diapers say, “Some day you'll put your pee pee in the toilet like me."

•     Encourage picking up toys and putting them in the proper place. This encourages the concept that there is a place for everything.

•     Allow your child to see you using the toilet and washing your hands afterwards.

Readiness signs for learning to use the toilet include all areas of development

Language – Children need to be able to use words to indicate urination and bowel movements.

Cognitive – Children must understand the toileting process. There are three stages of awareness of elimination.

• Stage 1: The child knows after he has wet or soiled in his diaper.

• Stage 2: The child knows she is wetting or soiling right then.

• Stage 3: The child is aware that his body is signaling a need to go to the bathroom.

Children need to be moving from Stage 2 awareness to Stage 3 awareness before parents begin attempting to teach specific toileting skills.

Self Help – Children need to be able to walk to the bathroom, pull their pants and diapers off, and place themselves on the toilet. Toddlers always need adult supervision in the bathroom.

Emotional – Children must WANT to use the toilet. They must have a desire to do something completely different with their body processes. Emotional readiness is often overlooked during the toilet learning process.

Motor – Children must have the ability to hold their bowel movement or urine until they get to the toilet. Be aware that muscle development is an internal process.

Your role in the toilet learning process

Remain matter-of-fact and neutral, while encouraging your child's interest. Keep the atmosphere positive and relaxed.

Offer choices about when and if your child wants to use the toilet. For example, when you notice your child begin to strain before a bowel movement, say, “It looks like you need to poop. Do you want to poop in your diaper or in the toilet?” Respect your child's decision without question. One day your child will choose to use the toilet.

Discuss your approach to toilet teaching with your child's other caregivers. Consistency among caregivers is important.

Until your child has made the choice to use the toilet, let him continue to wear diapers. Although children often become stressed when their clothes are soiled, they will not likely be convinced to use the toilet to avoid soiling.

Helpful Tips

•     When there are stressful events at home, such as a new baby, change in childcare, or moving to a new home, do not attempt to teach toileting. Also, a child who has been toilet trained for months may need to go back to diapers for awhile during stressful times or when the child is having lots of accidents.

•     Parents CAN'T control the toilet learning process by positive or negative means. Rewarding the child with candy or special prizes if she uses the toilet may backfire due to too much pressure to perform. Instead, say, “You peed in the toilet. You must be so proud of yourself.”

•     Do not use physical or verbal punishment for toileting accidents. These tactics will cause the child stress, which will prolong the entire process and may cause medical problems.

•     Most children develop the ability to use the toilet between the second and fourth birthdays.

•     Toilet learning is a process. As in all developmental processes, there may be spurts of growth followed by lags or even regression.

•     Nighttime dryness may or may not happen at the same time as daytime dryness.

•     Maintain a positive relationship with your child throughout the toilet teaching process.

•     Choosing a particular timetable for your child to learn independent toileting, such as entrance to preschool or a new baby's arrival, may result in frustration for both parent and child.

REMEMBER:

Any efforts by parents to control the toileting process are likely to fail. Caregivers cannot make the child use the toilet. The child must have mastered the developmental skills and have control over the toileting process, with the caregiver’s support and encouragement.

For more information, contact your Payne County Health Department

In Our Footsteps...

By Holly Hartman

Children are born imitators – it is the way they learn how to be human. Every parent has found themselves having to explain to friends something their child has said that we never intended to teach them. The child sensed the power in the language that Dad thoughtlessly blurted out and picked up the “bad word” immediately. Whoops.

One day a friend’s 3-year-old disappeared. Mom frantically began searching, finally finding her daughter at a neighbor’s house. Mom scolded the child for creating the scare, and the little girl folded her pudgy arms (just like Mom) and said, “I wrote you a note.” Wait. What? The child marched into the kitchen and pointed at a small note stuck about a foot off the floor on the front of the refrigerator. The note had a picture of a house on it. Mom said, “I don’t understand.” The indignant child, with hands on hips (just like Dad) said, “That’s me, and that’s Margie’s house.” She had watched her parents jot notes and stick reminders and messages on the ’fridge, so she did the same.

All kinds of skills are learned through imitation, for both good and ill. When children see adults or older siblings regularly choosing to read, they will eventually mimic reading and move along the road to literacy. But children who never observe anyone reading aren’t likely to be interested in learning it themselves. The same goes for things like musical skills and sports, but also for behaviors like curiosity, organization, and flexibility, and negative ones like shaming, bullying, and teasing.

Like it or not, children constantly imitate us - our behavior, our language, and our habits. The things we spend the most time doing are the things most likely to “stick” in their growing brains, and we teach them far more through our actions than our words.

What has your child learned by watching you today?

Thank you, United Way of Payne County!

Laura Shellhammer - United Way Kickoff 2025

ECC is deeply grateful for all our donors who help us fulfill our mission. Thanks to their generosity, we can support families throughout our community in many meaningful ways, especially during the critical years of early brain development from birth to age three. With donor support, ECC has been able to provide HealthySteps specialists, distribute developmental resources with Brain Bags and Insight texting, and offer services to hundreds of local families.

This month, we are proud to highlight the United Way of Payne County and their ongoing 2025 campaign, which is now welcoming pledges and donations. Your contribution will make a real difference for children and families in Payne County.

Thank you for helping us build a stronger community—one child at a time.

https://www.unitedwaypaynecounty.org/funded-partners

The Toddler Ten

by Holly Hartman

Young children are born with a natural sense of curiosity and wonder. They don’t need flashy or expensive toys to have fun. What they DO need is to have positive relationships with the adults in their lives on a daily basis. Toddlers learn about the world through play and exploration. Their understanding of math, literacy, language, social skills, and science develops first through play. The great thing is, you already have plenty of “toys” around your house that can stimulate play and learning for your child. Here are a few to try:

1. Boxes, large and small. Big boxes can become caves, castles, or rocket ships. Smaller boxes can be used for filling, dumping, and stacking. Your child will develop large and small motor skills and imagination.

2. Measuring cups. Encourage your child to scoop and pour water, rice, noodles, etc. They will develop math, science and fine motor skills.

3. Disposable plates and cups. Decorate paper plates and make hats, masks, or cut in spiral to make a snake. Use the cups to play a stacking game or to sort toys, silverware, etc. They will develop creativity and fine motor skills.

4. Masking tape. Tape lines on the floor to walk along, or use with toy cars as a highway. They are developing balance, spatial awareness and motor skills. (Blue “painter’s tape” removes easily from floors and walls.)

5. Laundry baskets. Use as a target for throwing soft balls or rolled up socks. Pretend the basket is a boat or car so your child can climb in and go on a “sightseeing trip.” Ask them to describe what they see and hear along the way. They will develop eye-hand coordination, large motor skills and vocabulary.

6. Towels, blankets, sheets, pillows. Make a tent using living room furniture and crawl inside to have a snack or read a book together. Bring a flashlight for extra fun! Your child will develop planning skills and creativity.

7. Flashlights. Speaking of flashlights, they are an amazing and versatile toy! Use them for shadow play at bedtime, or outside to play flashlight tag. Bring them along on a walk and ask your child to point the beam at objects you see. Toddlers will develop observation skills, imagination and science understandings.

8. Pots and pans. While you are cooking in the kitchen, give your child a pot or pan to play with. They may use it to make noise, pretend to cook, fill and dump, or play hide and seek by covering small objects inside with the lid. They will develop eye-hand coordination, understanding of cause and effect, and creativity.

9. Sticky notes. Draw pairs of letters, numbers, or faces on sticky notes and to make a matching game on the refrigerator door. Draw the letters of your child’s name on separate sticky notes to put in order. Make name labels for each family member. Your child can place them at the table, in the car, or on the person’s back. They are developing literacy and math skills.

10. YOU! All of these homemade toys stimulate play and learning on their own, but only YOU can add the “secret ingredient” of your attention and participation. Playing with your child with the goal to have fun and enjoy each other’s company is a powerful way to support their development, even if it’s when you’re also cooking, cleaning, or taking care of their other needs at the same time.

HealthySteps Welcomes New Specialist to Stillwater Pediatrics

Katey Anderson, HealthySteps Specialist

We’re excited to welcome Katey Anderson to the HealthySteps team at Stillwater Pediatrics! 

An Oklahoma native, Katey was born and raised in Bartlesville and is a recent graduate of Oklahoma State University, where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Science with a focus on Child and Family Services. Prior to attending OSU, Katey earned her Child Development Associate (CDA) credential from Tri County Technology Center in Bartlesville in 2021—a foundation that sparked her passion for early childhood development and gave her valuable hands-on experience working with young children. 

Although she officially joined the team this summer, Katey is no stranger to HealthySteps—she interned for a year alongside longtime specialist Traci Hamilton, who has served Stillwater Pediatrics for almost an entire decade. Thanks to this experience, Katey steps confidently into her new role, ready to support families and collaborate with pediatricians in our community. 

Katey shared that when she arrived at OSU, she knew she wanted to work with children and empower families, but wasn’t sure what path that would take. Choosing Human Development and Family Science helped her find her calling, and her passion for early childhood development has only grown since. During her internship, she accompanied her mentor in working with families—and now, she’s beginning to build her own client base. 

What makes Katey’s approach so special is her commitment to collaboration. The pediatrician plays a key role by providing trusted medical guidance and partnering with the specialist to support the child’s overall development and well-being. She emphasizes that in the HealthySteps model, the parent and the specialist are a team: “The parent is the expert on their child, and the specialist is the expert in child development. There’s no judgment—just teamwork to support the whole family.” 

Beyond her work at Stillwater Pediatrics, Katey also participates in monthly community outreach through Our Daily Bread, where she offers developmental guidance to families with young children. Whether she's answering questions, providing educational handouts, or connecting families with local pediatricians, Katey is a valuable and compassionate resource for the Stillwater community. 

HealthySteps is a national initiative founded in Washington, D.C. in 1995, now serving families in 334 communities across 25 states and 11 military bases. In Stillwater, the program partners with pediatricians to support children from birth to age five giving them the best possible start in life. Since January, our local HealthySteps team has connected with families about 3,000 times, and the need for this kind of support continues to grow. 

For Katey, this work is close to the heart. Her personal early experiences have inspired a deep sense of purpose in helping families feel seen, supported, and empowered. We’re so fortunate to have this program right here in Stillwater—and even more fortunate to welcome Katey to the team. 

Welcome, Katey!

Helping a Firstborn Become Friends with the New Baby

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

The birth of a new brother or sister may be difficult for a child who has enjoyed being the only child.  There are often feelings of jealousy expressed by the older child, either at the birth or sometime within the first year. He or she may feel pushed aside, unwanted, unloved, and very jealous of the time and attention the new baby gets. Before the baby arrived, this attention was all theirs.

To help prepare for the new baby:

• Give your child real expectations of a newborn, who will eat, sleep, cry, and need lots of diaper changes for the first few months.  The baby will not be a playmate or friend for quite some time.

• Involve your child in preparing for the new baby. Give them say in some choices: “Shall we buy the sheets with the ducks or the teddy bears?”

Normal reactions to a new baby

• Big brother or sister may want lots of attention after the baby comes home. They may be able to tell you they need a hug or to sit in your lap, or they may go away in disappointment, frustration, or anger because you are too busy with the baby.

• Many children will regress to earlier behaviors such a wanting a bottle, bed-wetting, or thumb-sucking. Some of these behaviors are reminders of a comfortable time when they were the center of attention.

• Your child may be hoping to be reassured that they are still loved and cared about enough to deserve your time.  They may think that time equals love. New babies naturally require more time and attention, but this may be difficult for your older child to understand.

To help your older child still feel wanted and loved...

• Empathize with your child about all the frustrations. “It hurts my ears too, to hear so much crying” or “I really wish I could hold you right now and read your favorite book.”

• When friends and family visit the new baby, ask them to visit with your older child first. Suggest that a small gift for the older child would be appreciated when they bring gifts for the baby. Or, keep a new toy or book handy that can be brought out for your older child on these occasions. This is probably not the time to teach your child that you don’t get a gift every time someone else does.

• Provide your child with a “baby” of their own to feed, bathe, and dress when you’re caring for the new baby.

• If your child regresses to baby-like behaviors, they need your positive attention and support. Resist giving attention to the baby-like behaviors and focus instead on their age-appropriate activities. Gently remind them of things they can do that the baby can’t.

• Find some time to devote to your older child when baby is sleeping or someone else can care for the baby. Even a small amount of time will be important to your child.

• Give your child small opportunities to help with the baby, such as offering a pacifier, putting on booties, or winding up a lullaby toy.

• With supervision, let your older child cuddle with and hold the new baby.

• Find books at the library to read with your older child about having a new sibling in the family.

Remember to take care of yourself as well as your children! If their needs start to overwhelm you, ask for help from family, friends, or health care professionals.

KALEIDOSCOPE 2025

The Kaleidoscope event is one of many ways that the Early Childhood Coalition is partnering to bring awareness of children and their needs to our community.

Kaleidoscope is a festival and block party held in Stillwater, Oklahoma during the month of April to raise awareness for Child Abuse Prevention Month.  This marked the third successful year for the event.

Stonecloud Brewing once again hosted the event in the street area by the brewery. The event kicked off with a pinwheel ceremony to recognize abused children in our community. Other events for the day included learning from many agencies in town such as the Saville Center, Wings of Hope, Lions Meadow of Hope, Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), Payne County Youth Shelter and Early Childhood Coalition.

The day was also filled with live music, food trucks and lots of activities at individual booths as well as tie-dyeing t-shirts and a bounce house. Children were welcomed at the ECC booth by members of Early Childhood Coalition and were encouraged to create a special bracelet using a variety of different colors and types of pasta shells, beads and string. Volunteers assisted as needed.

More than 500 swag bags with all types of information to support families were shared and over 200 t-shirts were also given to community members.