Donor Spotlight: Ron Walker

This blog post shines a spotlight on a valued ECC supporter, Ron Walker. For those unfamiliar with him, Ron is a well-known builder from Stillwater who recently retired. He previously received the Small Business Award for his company, Ron Walker Construction, and he is an Oklahoma State University graduate and skilled ceramicist. Every year, Ron generously donates his time and artistic talents to support ECC at the Prairie Arts Festival. Most recently, he teamed up with other artists to create over 100 awards for the annual Mid South Gravel Bike race in Stillwater. The design team processes pure Oklahoma clay by hand and dedicates many hours to crafting these unique prizes, ensuring each recipient receives something special and meaningful.

Throughout the year, Ron explores various ceramic techniques, including Raku with horsehair, banana peels, and other creative elements to produce distinctive designs. He sells his art at the Prairie Arts Festival, with all proceeds directly benefitting ECC. Be sure to visit this year and take home one of Ron’s stunning pieces at an affordable price.

April will be a busy month for the Early Childhood Coalition, featuring special events such as:

·      Fundraiser at the Garage – April 8

·      The Week of the Young Child – April 19-26

·      Prairie Arts Festival – April 17-18

·      Kaleidoscope – April 26

For updates on these events, check our Facebook page or Instagram account.

Thanks to donors like Ron Walker, local families receive vital support for healthy development. Our work relies on the dedication of partners like him. If you'd like to support our mission: Please visit https://www.eccstillwater.org or email eccstillwater@gmail.com to make a donation. Your contributions—whether financial, through volunteering, or advocacy—help drive positive change. Join us in empowering children and families across Payne County.

Temper Tantrums

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

Most young children have temper tantrums. They may throw themselves on the floor, kick, cry, shout, hit, bite, and even hold their breath. Tantrums probably mean that the child is overcome with frustration or anger

Tantrums may happen when a child is:

• Tired, hungry, uncomfortable, or not feeling well

• Too warm, scratchy, or wearing tight clothes

• Wanting independence (''I can do it myself.")

• Frustrated (sharing toys, unable to do a task)

• Not given structure (changing rules, no regular routine)

• Expected to do more than he is capable of doing (such as sitting quietly for too long)

• Asked to stop an activity and do another (stop playing and get dressed)

To prevent tantrums:

•  Watch for signals from your child. Parents usually know when a child is tired, hungry, or needing a break from too much activity.

• Make sure that he has a nap when he is tired, and a light snack or a meal when he needs food.

• If she is getting too wound up and needs help to relax, you might sit and read to her or give her a bath. Rowdy activities should be followed by quiet activities.

• Find out if your expectations for your child's behavior are too high or low.

• Plan activities for the family around the child's routines when possible.

• Before asking a child to stop one activity and start another, give a few minutes warning to help the child prepare for the change. This may prevent a tantrum.

When a tantrum occurs:

 Because all children are different and the reasons for tantrums vary, you will need different ways to handle tantrums.

• Try to remain calm. (This may be difficult!)

• Tentatively name what you think the child is feeling. (''It is frustrating when the toy doesn't work.”) This helps the child to understand what he is feeling and may give him words to use to express that feeling.

• Redirect the child's attention to something else. (If he is upset because he can't climb on the cabinets find him a safe place to practice climbing).

• There may be times that, after trying the above, the child is still very upset and needs to release his or her frustrations. At this point you may choose to give the child some space. This allows the child to calm down and you to keep your frustrations in check. (''I can see you are very angry. I'm going to leave you alone until you calm down.")

• Once the child begins to calm down, a parent may offer to comfort the child. Being out of control can be very scary for the child. However, if the child is not ready when you offer comfort wait until he is ready,

• Depending on the personality of the child, he may want to be held, talked to, distracted, or simply left alone until he is ready to interact on his own.

• When a tantrum occurs in a public place, you may need to look for a quiet place, such as your

  car, for you and your child to take a break until he is back in control.

Remember:

Sometimes adults have fits too. We sometimes stomp our feet, slam doors, shout, throw things or drive too fast. One of the ways children learn how to manage strong emotions is by watching us handle ours!

A tantrum is a child's way of communicating his strong emotions which he is still learning to handle. Typically, children's temper tantrums decrease as their use of language and coping abilities increase.

You cannot reason with a child in the middle of a tantrum. So wait!

Just as adults want to share their frustrations with someone, so do young children. That is why they seldom tantrum alone.

For help with your child’s behavior issues, contact your local Health Department or Healthy Steps Specialist.

Donor Highlight: Elite Repeat

At ECC, we express our sincere appreciation to all supporters of Elite Repeat, located in downtown Stillwater. Elite Repeat is recognized for its high-quality used and vintage items, offering an organized selection that includes clothing, furniture, home décor, and more. The store’s inventory is regularly updated, inviting patrons to return frequently in search of new finds.

Elite Repeat dedicates the proceeds from sales to supporting community non-profit organizations. ECC has gratefully received grants from Elite Repeat since the beginning of the HealthySteps program. The contributions from Elite Repeat are specifically allocated to our HealthySteps program.

HealthySteps is a nationally accredited initiative based in pediatric clinics, collaborating with physicians and staff to assist families in addressing parenting challenges such as feeding, behavior, sleep, development, and adjustment to life with young children. Stillwater benefits from having two full-time HealthySteps specialists working alongside local pediatricians, ensuring a collaborative approach that empowers parents as they welcome new family members.

Through the continued generosity of donors like Elite Repeat, families in our community receive comprehensive support for a healthy beginning. This work would not be possible without the steadfast commitment of our partners.

If you wish to contribute to our mission:

Please visit https://www.eccstillwater.org or email eccstillwater@gmail.com to make a donation.

Your engagement—whether through financial support, volunteering, or advocacy—creates meaningful change. Join us in strengthening young children and families throughout Payne County.

Communicating Limits to Young Children

Discipline is teaching. A child is not born knowing what is appropriate and what is not. As adults, we can help children learn what behavior is acceptable. The way you communicate limits to your child is important.

It’s better to be consistent with 5 rules 100% of the time than with 10 rules 50% of the time. Most adults set too many rules. A rule should be:

·      For ensuring health and safety

·      Reasonable for a child’s age

·      For the benefit of the child as well as the adult

·      Explained to the child in an age appropriate way

With that in mind, here is a list of “rules” for winning the discipline game:

Be clear and specific in your instructions. Avoid terms such as “be nice” or “be good.” Say instead, “We will go when you are in the car seat.” “We can read the story after you brush your teeth. I’ll help,” ”People are not for hitting, use your words.” Or “Put your toys on this shelf.”

Eye contact is important. Move close to the child and get on their eye level.

Be trustworthy. Say what you mean. Do what you say you will.

Use a firm, matter-of-fact voice.

Be kind. An angry voice or body language does not teach the child, it scares them.

Do not make the situation about you, for example, saying, “You did this to make me mad.”

Say things in a positive way; “Your feet go on the floor, not on the chair.”

Be brief. We often talk too much. Remind once, then calmly move on.

Allow the child to express their feelings, including negative ones.

Listen when your child talks, with your full attention. A child is more likely to listen and obey when the caregiver listens to and values the child’s feelings and opinions.

Give your child choices when you can. Give only choices you can accept. Even simple choices will help your child feel more in control and therefore, better able to cooperate.

Pay attention to your child’s feelings, moods, and needs. A tired or hungry child is less likely to be agreeable.

Try not to use positive or negative labels such as good, bad, dumb, pretty, etc. Instead, describe behavior specifically.

Nagging, yelling, and hitting show a lack of respect for the child and hurt your relationship with them in the long run. Work to develop a relationship of mutual respect.

Time limits may help to reduce a child’s frustration. Say, for example, “In five minutes it will be time for dinner.” The child may not have any understanding of the concept of five minutes, but you are letting them know what is upcoming.

Be reasonable. Match your expectations to the child’s age and development.

Remember, you communicate nonverbally as well. Facial expressions, actions, tone of voice, and hugs often communicate more than your words to influence a child.

For more information, contact your County Health Department.

Maternal & Child Health, Oklahoma State Department of Health

ECC Receives Donations to Support Brain Bags

We are deeply grateful to Oklahoma Community Credit Union and P.E.O. Chapter U for their generous support of our Brain Bag initiative. Their commitment to early childhood development is making a real difference for families in our area and inspiring others to join our mission.

At the November ECC board meeting, Oklahoma Community Credit Union awarded us an $800 grant through OK Community Cares, directly funding Brain Bags for newborn families at Stillwater Medical Center. Their partnership helps us reach local families at a crucial moment in their child's development.

In December, P.E.O. Chapter U contributed $1,700, allowing us to expand the Brain Bag program even further. Their dedication to supporting women, children, and education strengthens our community and encourages others to get involved.

Thanks to these generous donations, 100 newborn families will receive Brain Bags this year at Stillwater Medical Center—each filled with a storybook, a toy for baby, a family guide to The Basics, a QR code for free enrollment in the Insights texting service, and helpful resources about childcare and development. These Brain Bags provide families with tools for a healthy and supported start, and we couldn't do it without the ongoing support of our community partners.

Want to help us continue this important work?

Visit our website at https://www.eccstillwater.org or contact us at eccstillwater@gmail.com to make your donation today. Every $25 gift provides a newborn family with the resources for a healthy beginning. Your involvement—whether through donating, volunteering, or spreading the word—makes a lasting impact. Join us in supporting young children and families across Payne County!

Happy New Beginnings 2026!

Holly Hartman

Have you ever tried to explain the concept of New Year’s Day to a young child?  For little people who don’t have a firm grasp on the concept of yesterday-today-tomorrow, the idea of a whole new year has got to be fuzzy at best.  As my own child once argued, you could say that every single day is both a New Year’s Eve AND a New Year’s Day. (He was hoping for a later bedtime.) Anyway, Happy New Beginnings in 2026!

Speaking of new beginnings, I have ideas for a few worthwhile resolutions for anyone with a young child in their care, courtesy of The Basics.org:

Maximize Love, Minimize Stress

 Focus on changing your reaction to one small, daily irritation that comes with raising your child, and plan a different response that demonstrates your love and acceptance.

Talk, Sing, and Point

Focusing your attention on communicating with your toddler, especially in a playful way, supports your child in so many ways. Make a playlist of silly kid songs you already know and post it on your refrigerator as a reminder to sing to your child every morning.

Count, Group and Compare

Take advantage of the natural math-building activities in your day, like counting steps, tapping to a beat, and sorting the silverware to keep your child busy and boost their understanding of the world.

Explore through Movement and Play

Moving and playing are the backbones of healthy child development, but they are also necessary for our own mental and physical health. Schedule a time each day for open-ended, child-led, self-motivated exploration. Even a few minutes can make a big difference for the whole family.

Read and Discuss Stories

Sharing books with your child is a proven way to build closeness, calm anxiety, and grow creativity for both of you. Look at the pictures, make up the story, use silly voices... make reading a time for connection and companionship.

 Lastly, think about how much growing, playing, and learning your child will experience in the year ahead, and give yourself a big pat on the back just for keeping up with your little bundle of energy!

Learn more about these five simple parenting strategies on our website, eccstillwater.org.

Santa Fundraiser 2025

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Everywhere you go in Stillwater, the holiday spirit is popping up—even before our Thanksgiving Day celebrations. Maybe you’re starting to think about how to make this season extra special for your child. Let’s make this holiday season magical for every child in our community!

ECC is excited to once again offer you the chance to delight your child with a personalized video message from Santa himself! Your child will receive a unique, 1–2-minute video greeting where Santa speaks directly to them, adding a heartwarming and personal touch to their holiday experience.

Every $25 donation for a Santa video directly funds resources for local families. Your generosity helps ECC continue to provide HealthySteps specialists, distribute developmental resources through Brain Bags and Insight texting, and offer vital services to hundreds of local families. Together, we can make a real difference for children during the critical years of early brain development from birth to age three.

Participating is easy: simply complete the informational questionnaire (use the QR code or button below) and submit your $25 donation by December 10th. Your child’s personalized Santa video will be emailed to you on or before December 20th. Reserve your child’s personalized Santa video today—spots are limited, so don’t wait! Submit your form and donation by December 10th to ensure delivery before Christmas.

Toilet Learning

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

For many parents one of the most frustrating skills they will teach their child is how to use the toilet. Advice from friends and family may include comments like: "Start toilet training right after he's walking," and "Get that boy out of diapers as soon as possible". While advice from experts may be: "Take it slow. Wait till she's ready." All the while, parents are wondering, "How will I know when he's ready?" or "My daughter is really smart, so won't she learn to use the bathroom quickly?"

A variety of ways to support independent toileting

•     Use words to identify bodily functions that you're comfortable with. But avoid words that imply elimination is something bad. Describe what you see your toddler doing. For example, when she grabs the front of her diaper, say, “It looks like you're going pee pee.” Or when he runs behind the couch and makes grunting sounds, say, “It looks like you're making a poop." Don't ask children if they are peeing or pooping. They will most likely say “NO!”

•     Get a potty-chair or an adapter seat for the toilet. Talk about what it is used for. Let your child try sitting on it with clothes on.

•     Read children's books about using the toilet.

•     When changing diapers say, “Some day you'll put your pee pee in the toilet like me."

•     Encourage picking up toys and putting them in the proper place. This encourages the concept that there is a place for everything.

•     Allow your child to see you using the toilet and washing your hands afterwards.

Readiness signs for learning to use the toilet include all areas of development

Language – Children need to be able to use words to indicate urination and bowel movements.

Cognitive – Children must understand the toileting process. There are three stages of awareness of elimination.

• Stage 1: The child knows after he has wet or soiled in his diaper.

• Stage 2: The child knows she is wetting or soiling right then.

• Stage 3: The child is aware that his body is signaling a need to go to the bathroom.

Children need to be moving from Stage 2 awareness to Stage 3 awareness before parents begin attempting to teach specific toileting skills.

Self Help – Children need to be able to walk to the bathroom, pull their pants and diapers off, and place themselves on the toilet. Toddlers always need adult supervision in the bathroom.

Emotional – Children must WANT to use the toilet. They must have a desire to do something completely different with their body processes. Emotional readiness is often overlooked during the toilet learning process.

Motor – Children must have the ability to hold their bowel movement or urine until they get to the toilet. Be aware that muscle development is an internal process.

Your role in the toilet learning process

Remain matter-of-fact and neutral, while encouraging your child's interest. Keep the atmosphere positive and relaxed.

Offer choices about when and if your child wants to use the toilet. For example, when you notice your child begin to strain before a bowel movement, say, “It looks like you need to poop. Do you want to poop in your diaper or in the toilet?” Respect your child's decision without question. One day your child will choose to use the toilet.

Discuss your approach to toilet teaching with your child's other caregivers. Consistency among caregivers is important.

Until your child has made the choice to use the toilet, let him continue to wear diapers. Although children often become stressed when their clothes are soiled, they will not likely be convinced to use the toilet to avoid soiling.

Helpful Tips

•     When there are stressful events at home, such as a new baby, change in childcare, or moving to a new home, do not attempt to teach toileting. Also, a child who has been toilet trained for months may need to go back to diapers for awhile during stressful times or when the child is having lots of accidents.

•     Parents CAN'T control the toilet learning process by positive or negative means. Rewarding the child with candy or special prizes if she uses the toilet may backfire due to too much pressure to perform. Instead, say, “You peed in the toilet. You must be so proud of yourself.”

•     Do not use physical or verbal punishment for toileting accidents. These tactics will cause the child stress, which will prolong the entire process and may cause medical problems.

•     Most children develop the ability to use the toilet between the second and fourth birthdays.

•     Toilet learning is a process. As in all developmental processes, there may be spurts of growth followed by lags or even regression.

•     Nighttime dryness may or may not happen at the same time as daytime dryness.

•     Maintain a positive relationship with your child throughout the toilet teaching process.

•     Choosing a particular timetable for your child to learn independent toileting, such as entrance to preschool or a new baby's arrival, may result in frustration for both parent and child.

REMEMBER:

Any efforts by parents to control the toileting process are likely to fail. Caregivers cannot make the child use the toilet. The child must have mastered the developmental skills and have control over the toileting process, with the caregiver’s support and encouragement.

For more information, contact your Payne County Health Department

In Our Footsteps...

By Holly Hartman

Children are born imitators – it is the way they learn how to be human. Every parent has found themselves having to explain to friends something their child has said that we never intended to teach them. The child sensed the power in the language that Dad thoughtlessly blurted out and picked up the “bad word” immediately. Whoops.

One day a friend’s 3-year-old disappeared. Mom frantically began searching, finally finding her daughter at a neighbor’s house. Mom scolded the child for creating the scare, and the little girl folded her pudgy arms (just like Mom) and said, “I wrote you a note.” Wait. What? The child marched into the kitchen and pointed at a small note stuck about a foot off the floor on the front of the refrigerator. The note had a picture of a house on it. Mom said, “I don’t understand.” The indignant child, with hands on hips (just like Dad) said, “That’s me, and that’s Margie’s house.” She had watched her parents jot notes and stick reminders and messages on the ’fridge, so she did the same.

All kinds of skills are learned through imitation, for both good and ill. When children see adults or older siblings regularly choosing to read, they will eventually mimic reading and move along the road to literacy. But children who never observe anyone reading aren’t likely to be interested in learning it themselves. The same goes for things like musical skills and sports, but also for behaviors like curiosity, organization, and flexibility, and negative ones like shaming, bullying, and teasing.

Like it or not, children constantly imitate us - our behavior, our language, and our habits. The things we spend the most time doing are the things most likely to “stick” in their growing brains, and we teach them far more through our actions than our words.

What has your child learned by watching you today?

Thank you, United Way of Payne County!

Laura Shellhammer - United Way Kickoff 2025

ECC is deeply grateful for all our donors who help us fulfill our mission. Thanks to their generosity, we can support families throughout our community in many meaningful ways, especially during the critical years of early brain development from birth to age three. With donor support, ECC has been able to provide HealthySteps specialists, distribute developmental resources with Brain Bags and Insight texting, and offer services to hundreds of local families.

This month, we are proud to highlight the United Way of Payne County and their ongoing 2025 campaign, which is now welcoming pledges and donations. Your contribution will make a real difference for children and families in Payne County.

Thank you for helping us build a stronger community—one child at a time.

https://www.unitedwaypaynecounty.org/funded-partners

The Toddler Ten

by Holly Hartman

Young children are born with a natural sense of curiosity and wonder. They don’t need flashy or expensive toys to have fun. What they DO need is to have positive relationships with the adults in their lives on a daily basis. Toddlers learn about the world through play and exploration. Their understanding of math, literacy, language, social skills, and science develops first through play. The great thing is, you already have plenty of “toys” around your house that can stimulate play and learning for your child. Here are a few to try:

1. Boxes, large and small. Big boxes can become caves, castles, or rocket ships. Smaller boxes can be used for filling, dumping, and stacking. Your child will develop large and small motor skills and imagination.

2. Measuring cups. Encourage your child to scoop and pour water, rice, noodles, etc. They will develop math, science and fine motor skills.

3. Disposable plates and cups. Decorate paper plates and make hats, masks, or cut in spiral to make a snake. Use the cups to play a stacking game or to sort toys, silverware, etc. They will develop creativity and fine motor skills.

4. Masking tape. Tape lines on the floor to walk along, or use with toy cars as a highway. They are developing balance, spatial awareness and motor skills. (Blue “painter’s tape” removes easily from floors and walls.)

5. Laundry baskets. Use as a target for throwing soft balls or rolled up socks. Pretend the basket is a boat or car so your child can climb in and go on a “sightseeing trip.” Ask them to describe what they see and hear along the way. They will develop eye-hand coordination, large motor skills and vocabulary.

6. Towels, blankets, sheets, pillows. Make a tent using living room furniture and crawl inside to have a snack or read a book together. Bring a flashlight for extra fun! Your child will develop planning skills and creativity.

7. Flashlights. Speaking of flashlights, they are an amazing and versatile toy! Use them for shadow play at bedtime, or outside to play flashlight tag. Bring them along on a walk and ask your child to point the beam at objects you see. Toddlers will develop observation skills, imagination and science understandings.

8. Pots and pans. While you are cooking in the kitchen, give your child a pot or pan to play with. They may use it to make noise, pretend to cook, fill and dump, or play hide and seek by covering small objects inside with the lid. They will develop eye-hand coordination, understanding of cause and effect, and creativity.

9. Sticky notes. Draw pairs of letters, numbers, or faces on sticky notes and to make a matching game on the refrigerator door. Draw the letters of your child’s name on separate sticky notes to put in order. Make name labels for each family member. Your child can place them at the table, in the car, or on the person’s back. They are developing literacy and math skills.

10. YOU! All of these homemade toys stimulate play and learning on their own, but only YOU can add the “secret ingredient” of your attention and participation. Playing with your child with the goal to have fun and enjoy each other’s company is a powerful way to support their development, even if it’s when you’re also cooking, cleaning, or taking care of their other needs at the same time.

HealthySteps Welcomes New Specialist to Stillwater Pediatrics

Katey Anderson, HealthySteps Specialist

We’re excited to welcome Katey Anderson to the HealthySteps team at Stillwater Pediatrics! 

An Oklahoma native, Katey was born and raised in Bartlesville and is a recent graduate of Oklahoma State University, where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Science with a focus on Child and Family Services. Prior to attending OSU, Katey earned her Child Development Associate (CDA) credential from Tri County Technology Center in Bartlesville in 2021—a foundation that sparked her passion for early childhood development and gave her valuable hands-on experience working with young children. 

Although she officially joined the team this summer, Katey is no stranger to HealthySteps—she interned for a year alongside longtime specialist Traci Hamilton, who has served Stillwater Pediatrics for almost an entire decade. Thanks to this experience, Katey steps confidently into her new role, ready to support families and collaborate with pediatricians in our community. 

Katey shared that when she arrived at OSU, she knew she wanted to work with children and empower families, but wasn’t sure what path that would take. Choosing Human Development and Family Science helped her find her calling, and her passion for early childhood development has only grown since. During her internship, she accompanied her mentor in working with families—and now, she’s beginning to build her own client base. 

What makes Katey’s approach so special is her commitment to collaboration. The pediatrician plays a key role by providing trusted medical guidance and partnering with the specialist to support the child’s overall development and well-being. She emphasizes that in the HealthySteps model, the parent and the specialist are a team: “The parent is the expert on their child, and the specialist is the expert in child development. There’s no judgment—just teamwork to support the whole family.” 

Beyond her work at Stillwater Pediatrics, Katey also participates in monthly community outreach through Our Daily Bread, where she offers developmental guidance to families with young children. Whether she's answering questions, providing educational handouts, or connecting families with local pediatricians, Katey is a valuable and compassionate resource for the Stillwater community. 

HealthySteps is a national initiative founded in Washington, D.C. in 1995, now serving families in 334 communities across 25 states and 11 military bases. In Stillwater, the program partners with pediatricians to support children from birth to age five giving them the best possible start in life. Since January, our local HealthySteps team has connected with families about 3,000 times, and the need for this kind of support continues to grow. 

For Katey, this work is close to the heart. Her personal early experiences have inspired a deep sense of purpose in helping families feel seen, supported, and empowered. We’re so fortunate to have this program right here in Stillwater—and even more fortunate to welcome Katey to the team. 

Welcome, Katey!

Helping a Firstborn Become Friends with the New Baby

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

The birth of a new brother or sister may be difficult for a child who has enjoyed being the only child.  There are often feelings of jealousy expressed by the older child, either at the birth or sometime within the first year. He or she may feel pushed aside, unwanted, unloved, and very jealous of the time and attention the new baby gets. Before the baby arrived, this attention was all theirs.

To help prepare for the new baby:

• Give your child real expectations of a newborn, who will eat, sleep, cry, and need lots of diaper changes for the first few months.  The baby will not be a playmate or friend for quite some time.

• Involve your child in preparing for the new baby. Give them say in some choices: “Shall we buy the sheets with the ducks or the teddy bears?”

Normal reactions to a new baby

• Big brother or sister may want lots of attention after the baby comes home. They may be able to tell you they need a hug or to sit in your lap, or they may go away in disappointment, frustration, or anger because you are too busy with the baby.

• Many children will regress to earlier behaviors such a wanting a bottle, bed-wetting, or thumb-sucking. Some of these behaviors are reminders of a comfortable time when they were the center of attention.

• Your child may be hoping to be reassured that they are still loved and cared about enough to deserve your time.  They may think that time equals love. New babies naturally require more time and attention, but this may be difficult for your older child to understand.

To help your older child still feel wanted and loved...

• Empathize with your child about all the frustrations. “It hurts my ears too, to hear so much crying” or “I really wish I could hold you right now and read your favorite book.”

• When friends and family visit the new baby, ask them to visit with your older child first. Suggest that a small gift for the older child would be appreciated when they bring gifts for the baby. Or, keep a new toy or book handy that can be brought out for your older child on these occasions. This is probably not the time to teach your child that you don’t get a gift every time someone else does.

• Provide your child with a “baby” of their own to feed, bathe, and dress when you’re caring for the new baby.

• If your child regresses to baby-like behaviors, they need your positive attention and support. Resist giving attention to the baby-like behaviors and focus instead on their age-appropriate activities. Gently remind them of things they can do that the baby can’t.

• Find some time to devote to your older child when baby is sleeping or someone else can care for the baby. Even a small amount of time will be important to your child.

• Give your child small opportunities to help with the baby, such as offering a pacifier, putting on booties, or winding up a lullaby toy.

• With supervision, let your older child cuddle with and hold the new baby.

• Find books at the library to read with your older child about having a new sibling in the family.

Remember to take care of yourself as well as your children! If their needs start to overwhelm you, ask for help from family, friends, or health care professionals.

KALEIDOSCOPE 2025

The Kaleidoscope event is one of many ways that the Early Childhood Coalition is partnering to bring awareness of children and their needs to our community.

Kaleidoscope is a festival and block party held in Stillwater, Oklahoma during the month of April to raise awareness for Child Abuse Prevention Month.  This marked the third successful year for the event.

Stonecloud Brewing once again hosted the event in the street area by the brewery. The event kicked off with a pinwheel ceremony to recognize abused children in our community. Other events for the day included learning from many agencies in town such as the Saville Center, Wings of Hope, Lions Meadow of Hope, Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), Payne County Youth Shelter and Early Childhood Coalition.

The day was also filled with live music, food trucks and lots of activities at individual booths as well as tie-dyeing t-shirts and a bounce house. Children were welcomed at the ECC booth by members of Early Childhood Coalition and were encouraged to create a special bracelet using a variety of different colors and types of pasta shells, beads and string. Volunteers assisted as needed.

More than 500 swag bags with all types of information to support families were shared and over 200 t-shirts were also given to community members.

HELP!! HE’S INTO EVERYTHING: TODDLERS’ CURIOSITY AT ITS PEAK

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

Toddlers, children from 12 months to 36 months, are highly active and curious about their world. It seems they want to see and do everything! All this “getting into things” can really frustrate parents. Toddlers can be difficult to keep up with and hard to keep safe.

Many parents of children this age often wonder if their child is hyperactive. However, most toddlers are typically on the go and into everything. This curiosity is essential for the development of a child’s brain.

What to Expect from Toddlers

• Toddlers cannot be expected to understand what danger means.

• Toddlers are so busy they cannot remember all the safety rules. Constant supervision and reminders are necessary.

• To a toddler, exploring his world is a stronger need than following his parents’ directions.

• Toddlers are often seen as challenging their parents’ authority when they disobey their parent’s rules. However, their disobedience is driven by two things: (1) an intense need to explore their environment and (2) a push to be their own person.

• Toddlers cannot be expected to control their own actions. When they see something they want to look at or touch, they will “go for it”.

• Some toddlers explore with their mouths.

Tips for Parents

·      To keep your toddler safe, SUPERVISE CONSTANTLY!

• At this age most rules need to be limited to those that deal with safety.

• Childproof your entire house. Do not rely on your toddler to keep himself out of danger..

• Place your valuable or breakable items out of reach. There is no benefit to having temptations so close to your very curious toddler. This lesson can best be taught when he is older..

• When you want your toddler to stop doing something, go to him and help him find something else to do. It’s most effective if you can think of something that will meet the need your toddler is trying to fulfill. For example, when your toddler tries to climb on the bookshelf, take him to a safe place to climb..

• When you want your toddler to stop a certain activity, first say what you want him to do. For example, “Feet stay on the floor. Let me help you get down.” This is more helpful than, “No! Get Down”.

• Very often toddlers will not respond to verbal direction alone. Parents must help their toddler follow through with direction by gently helping the child move to another area.

  Remember.....The toddler stage of intense curiosity and limited impulse control lasts from about the first birthday to about the third birthday. As children move out of the toddler stage and into the preschool stage, they slow down considerably and begin to think more before they act.

  Enjoy time with your toddler and see the amazing world through his or her eyes!

  For more information contact your county health department.

"I CAN DO IT MYSELF!"

THE TODDLER’S PUSH FOR INDEPENDENCE

Children ages one to three, are full of energy and curiosity. They are trying to master many skills, like walking, talking, and climbing. However, the biggest challenge for toddlers is becoming their own person. One of the major challenges for parents is allowing toddlers to develop their independence. With independence comes separateness from parents, along with the child’s message “I can do it myself, my way!” For most parents those words, and the attitude that goes with them, can be difficult to tolerate.

Parents can take comfort in knowing…

♦    All typically developing toddlers push for their independence.

♦    Each child has a unique timetable for this burst of “negativism”, but many parents will notice an increase in this difficult behavior around 18 months and again around 30 months.

♦    A common toddler response to frustration is a temper tantrum.

♦    Toddlers are having their own struggle, as they try to balance their need for independence with their need for dependence.

♦    Toddlers often respond with a loud “NO!” almost automatically, even when they really mean, “yes”.

♦    Toddlers often forget the rules parents set, so they make the same mistakes over and over again.

♦    The purpose of toddler’s negativism is not to be disrespectful. They are attempting to assert themselves as an individuals, separate from their parents.

♦    “Difficult” behavior during the toddler years will not last a lifetime. When parents allow their toddler to assert his independence in acceptable ways, the toddler can pass through this stage and move to the more cooperative, reasonable preschool stage.

♦    Older toddlers can be taught, with patience and understanding, the basics of appropriate social behavior.

Tips for parents…

♦    Keep your sense of humor when dealing with your toddler. It can be a joy to watch your toddler try new skills and practice his newfound independence.

♦    Don’t ask questions that will require a “yes” or “no” answer. The toddlers will undoubtedly say “NO!” For example, instead of “Would you like oatmeal for breakfast?” say, “Would you like hot or cold cereal?”

♦    Stay focused on the positive behaviors your toddler exhibits, as she explores her world and learns new skills.

♦    Avoid power struggles as much as possible. When a situation involves your child’s or someone else’s health or safety, then step in and assert yourself. If the situation involves the toddler’s need to be his own boss, without harm to anyone or anything, then consider allowing the child his independence. For example, parents must buckle their child in her car seat. But, a parent can allow the child to choose his own clothes, from several options.

♦    Flexibility is helpful when parenting toddlers! Parents need to be able to switch gears when a situation isn’t going well and the toddler is getting upset. This may seem to some that the child is “in control”; however, what is really happening is the parent is assessing the situation and making a choice to change for everyone’s benefit. For example, you ask your child to put the toys away and he says “No” and begins to whine. Instead of “sticking to your guns” and making him do it by himself you could say “Let me help so you can go outside and play”.

♦    Offer lots of choices. When toddlers have been given lots of choices, they’re more likely to accept those times when there is no choice. For example, “We must leave. Would you like to get in your car seat by yourself or do you want my help?

♦    Use humor and silliness to get her to do what you need her to do. Try to avoid demands on her behavior. For example, say, “I really need some help getting these wiggly, giggly toys in the silly, willy basket,” rather than “Put the toys away!”

♦  Focus on teaching the behavior you want, rather than on calling attention to the behavior you don’t want. For example, say, “I like it when you walk in the grocery store,” rather than “Stop running!”

♦    When you must set limits, be firm, yet kind about your expectations. Toddlers need parents to set limits for their safety and security.

Remember toddlerhood will last about two years. After this stage you can expect more cooperation from your child. Children need this stage of independence so that they can develop into people who know what they want and can think for themselves.

For more information, contact your county health department child guidance center.

Originally published by Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Dept. of Health

Calming a Crying Baby

Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Department of Health

Calming a crying baby can be difficult. Comforting your baby is sometimes a "trial and error" process. Experiment with the following ideas. See what works best for you and your baby!

Ask Yourself

Is my baby sick or feverish? Is my baby hungry?

Does my baby need to be burped? Does my baby need a dry diaper? Is my baby bored or lonely?

Is my baby overstimulated?

Is my baby over or under dressed?

Is my baby in strong sunlight or a cold draft? Are my baby's hands and feet cold?

Is my baby uneasy about his arms and legs being too free to move around? Does he need to be "swaddled" by wrapping him snugly in a blanket with his hands up to his face? 

Some ideas you might try...

•     Hold your baby close to your heart. The sound of your heartbeat is familiar and calming.

•     Move your baby to a new position.

•     Dim the lights, turn the TV down or off.

•     Rock your baby gently, or try a wind-up swing. (Make sure baby's head is supported.)

•     Let your baby suck his or her fingers or a pacifier. (Do not put a pacifier on a string and place it around baby's neck. Try pulling a diaper halfway through the pacifier ring and rest it beside your baby's mouth. The weight of the diaper holds the pacifier in place.)

•     Take a warm bath together.

•     Distract your baby with an interesting sight such as fish swimming in a tank, a flashlight shining on a wall or a mobile.

•     Wrap your baby snugly in a blanket.

•     Take your baby for a walk outside or go for a drive in the car.

•     Sing softly to your baby.

•     Turn on a fan. Soft background noise sometimes helps.

•     Lay your baby tummy down across your lap and rub his or her back, or sway your knees from side to side.

•     Turn on some quiet music and slow dance together.

•     Some babies enjoy having all their clothes off.

•     If your baby cries at bath time and is startled by water, wrap him in a diaper or soft blanket before getting him wet. Remove the cover when baby feels more comfortable.

•     Don't use food as a first solution to a crying crisis, especially if your baby has eaten recently. More food may add to the problem.

•     If crying seems worse at 3 weeks, 6 weeks or 3 months, your baby may be hungry during these growth periods.

When these ideas don't work...

•     Try to stay calm. This isn't easy! NEVER SHAKE YOUR BABY! This can damage your baby's brain.

•     If you are upset, it's O.K. to put your baby in a crib and take a break for up to 15 minutes.

•     If you are still feeling upset after this break, you may need to find another adult to care for your baby while you take a longer break.

•     If your frustration is high and you are still upset, or feel you may lose control, leave the room and call or contact another adult to watch your child while you calm down. All parents need help and support sometimes. Caring for children can be very stressful.

•     If you are upset or angry and think you might hurt your baby--get help!! Call a neighbor, a friend, a church, a health department, a parent assistance center, a counselor, or the Oklahoma Child Abuse Hot Line (1-800-422-4453).

Getting help is a sign of strength. It is the best thing you can do for you and your baby.

Originally published by Child Guidance Services, Oklahoma Dept. of Health

Kids on Screens

by Holly Hartman

How much screen time is okay for your child? What is most important is making sure the screen content is right for your child's age and development. Here are things to consider:

Birth to Two Years:

-There's no substitute for you! Use screens together.

-Video chat with loved ones is a good use of screens for kids.

-Remember that young children need real-life experience before they can understand what they see on the screen.

-Choose apps that limit the noise and distraction while providing a slower pace that won't overly excite your child.

-Balance screen time with active play and interaction.

-Be a good role model! Put down your phone while you spend time with your child.

Three to Eight Years:

-Check the content of the sites your child asks to see or play on to make sure it is accurate and appropriate.

-Turn screens off for the hour before bedtime to help your child get good sleep.

-Make time to use screens for fun with your child, especially to read together.

-Offer tradeoffs: use screen time as an earned reward for other activities like finishing chores, going outside, or playing with siblings and friends.

-Be a good role model! Put down your phone while you spend time with your child.

Children learn best from active, hands-on experiences with trusted elders. Screen time can take away from the valuable play and social time they need. Make sure the balance of screen time and "real time" is right for your family!

Board Members Building a Better ECC

Lisa Cundiff, ECC board member, Laura Shellhammer, Executive Director, Mary Melton, ECC board member, Sherre Davidson ECC board member and Amy Hardin, ECC member (not pictured) attended a training at Pioneer Technology in Ponca City on February 9, 2024. Training was presented by the Oklahoma Center for Nonprofits. Training included Best Practices for Board Performance and Fundraising Basics for Non-Profits.

The Early Childhood Coalition is a 501c3 non-profit organization that works to raise the quality of life for families with young children in Payne County. The Coalition is made up of board members who actively engage with other organizations through its Programming and Finance workgroups. Interested in joining? Contact us for information and plan to attend the next meeting!